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And it hurt so much worse than breaking up with Chelsea. Cutting ties with her had been relatively neat and tidy. But my life and my memories weren’t all tangled up in hers going back as far as I could remember.
Losing Lucy made my heart ache and my head hurt at the same time. I hadn’t felt that kind of pain in ages. Normally when a woman dropped out of my life, she was the first person I called.
Cause she always knew how to take my mind off things.
But now I had no one to turn to.
And even if calling her would make it better, she wasn’t the person I thought she was. She was still gorgeous, still sexy, still funny as hell.
But I couldn’t trust her.
And she wasn’t loyal.
So what was the fucking point?
I grabbed my phone and got out of the car, slipping it in my back pocket as I walked to the basement elevator. Normally, I was too impatient to wait for it, but now I just pressed the button and sighed.
Earlier, I was so excited to see Lucy that I took the stairs two at a time all the way down to the parking garage, drifting through stale yellow lights all the way to her place. I’d been dying to see her, to hold her. I’d been in the biggest hurry of my life.
And for what? To kiss her lying mouth? To kiss a mouth that told me what I wanted to hear and nothing that was inconvenient? What was the point of her being the sunniest part of my life if it was all a lie?
Fuck it.
My whole life people sucked up to me because of who my Dad was or because I was the coach’s pet. Or worse, they tiptoed around me because I was a useful, generous friend to have.
But not Lucy. She was one of the only people that didn’t just tell me what I wanted to hear. She told me when I was being a dick, when I was taking the easy way out. She told me when I was being too hard on myself or not hard enough, as rare as that was. She was the last person on Earth whose loyalty I would’ve questioned.
I would’ve bet everything that she would’ve done anything to protect me. And why wouldn’t I? She always had. That was the deal. We protected each other. Us against the world.
And now us was just me, and the sense of loss I felt was overwhelming and heavy, like I was lying under a wet mattress.
I stepped onto the elevator and hit the button for my floor, crossing my arms and leaning against the wall.
How could she say she was worried about preserving our friendship when she’d been lying to me for weeks?
I stepped onto my floor and walked to my door.
My apartment felt strangely empty, like it, too, had been expecting me to return home with a guest.
And suddenly, it filled up again with the sound of my ringing phone.
I sighed. “What do you want?” I asked, disappointed at how defeated I sounded but too tired to change my tone.
“I’m so sorry, Aiden.”
“Not as sorry as I am.”
“Can we talk?”
“I have nothing to say to you.”
“I’ll do the talking.”
I exhaled through my nose.
“Please.”
“Do you think I’m an idiot?”
