Page 111 of Arouse Me


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“I come alive,” I whispered.

“You do a hell of a lot more than that, baby. You soar. You fly away in such pure and peaceful beauty, I want to beat my chest and howl. Do you have any idea how fucking empowering that is to me?” I shook my head. “It’s priceless. Because you let me take you there. Tell me, who holds the power, little one? Who owns the control for all that?”

Something strange and unexpected swelled inside me, and the pieces aligned with clarity. I’d professed for days that I wouldn’t let Davis steal my power, when I’d done nothing more than allow him to make me feel like a victim. Joshua’s words made me realize I’d had the control to wipe the vile sludge from my being. I had the power with Walker, but I also had the power to give the amazing man in front of me the control to fulfill my fantasies.

“I do,” I whispered, still pondering his words.

“Damn right, you do. And that power comes from both, Mouthy-Mellie and submissive Mellie. There is no division. They’re one and the same. One beautiful collection of sass and sweet, not fragmented pieces of strong and weak. There’s not a weak bone in your body, girl. You’re mighty and powerful, and…fuck, the heady rush I get when you give all that to me. It’s indescribable.” Joshua’s tone was filled with wonderment. “When you beg to please me, you’re finding the strength to cast aside your fears and uncertainty and open up your entire soul to me, little one. And when something blocks your path, you grab hold of it with the same courageous strength and kick your way clear to charge right on through. Strength comes in many forms, sweetheart, and you, my beautiful sub, are powerful beyond compare.”

“Spread your thighs, girl,” Ian whispered. “Show your Master your strength and let him guide you. Give him what’s inside your heart, your body, and your soul.”

Shards of fire and ice swirled inside me, intertwining and sifting together in a hazy smoke of power. Floating through my limbs, meshing and melding, growing and surging with such force I thought it might burst from me at the seams.

Tears prickled the backs of my eyes, and I spread my legs. Joshua brushed his knuckles along the insides of my thighs, leaving a path of tingles in his wake.

“You’re so fucking gorgeous, little one,” Joshua growled. “Spread them wider. You’re stronger than this. Show me how strong you really are. Give me all your sweet control. I want it. Need to taste it on your flesh, feel it breathe and glow beneath my hands, wrap it around my heart and give it back to you tenfold. Let me have it, little one. Let me make you whole. I need your love, baby, as much as you need mine.”

Joshua needed to satisfy his desires, but his words conveyed more than Dominance. He was ready to open up and let someone inside him again…me. For the first time in my adult life, I ached to be loved—and give love—as deeply in return. Spreading my legs to the point of pain, I wanted to give Joshua my power, my control, and my love. I knew unequivocally that he’d never use me and toss me away. Knew he’d never purposely hurt me.

For years, I’d kept my heart isolated, crippled with the fear of abandonment. After my parents had left me, and Davis had left me, I convinced myself the only way to keep from being hurt again was to throw away my submission and let bold, fearless Mellie take charge.

But I’d been wrong. Dead wrong to deny the pieces of my soul Joshua had resurrected.

Tears of salvation and joy spilled down my cheeks, dripping onto my breasts. Raising my head, I stared into Joshua’s loving eyes. I no longer needed to wear a mask or surround myself in armor. This gorgeous, compassionate, caring man was worth the risk of losing it, losing all of me.

Leaning in, Joshua dropped his head to my breasts. Sipping the droplets between his lips, he steered clear of my nipples. His restraint was clear. The lesson he sought to teach me was clear. This wasn’t a sexual awakening—it was an emotional and spiritual rebirth. He’d reached inside my soul and saved my submission, like he’d promised.

Sobbing, I raised my hands up to him. “I need you, too, Master.”

“Oh, baby,” Joshua whispered as he wrapped his arms around me and hugged me to his chest.

“Fucking gorgeous. Well done, girl,” Ian whispered as he bent in and pressed a kiss at my temple.

The sound of Joshua’s heartbeat echoed in my ear, and in the distance I could hear Sanna softly crying. Sliding my arms around Joshua’s neck, I clung to him with all my might. As he stood, he slid a strong arm beneath my knees. Lifting me, he cradled me and carried me toward the stairs. The sound of Ian’s cell phone made me flinch, but Joshua didn’t stop, didn’t pause; he didn’t even look back. Instead, he ascended the stairs and carried me to our room. Kicking the door closed behind him, he laid me down in the center of our bed.

Wiping away my tears, I watched as he tore off his clothes and climbed into bed. Embracing me in his sweet, blissful heat, Joshua peppered my face with gentle kisses.

“I’m so proud of you, little one. Words can’t describe how in awe I am of you right now. Watching you struggle so mightily and transform as the puzzle pieces finally came together was the most gorgeous and amazing thing I’ve ever witnessed.” Joshua beamed in a combination of satisfaction, happiness, and pride.

“It’s funny how self-preservation forces you to compartmentalize and cordon yourself off from pain.”

Joshua nodded. “Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I’d done the same until I met you. I meant what I said when I told you that you blindsided me.”

“You’ve done the very same to me,” I softly chuckled. “You brought the mighty Mellie Carson down, but more than that, you found a way to reinvent her.”

“I’ve not yet started to do all the things I want with you, little one.” He dipped his head and claimed my lips in a soulful kiss. Slowly pulling back from me, he frowned.

“What’s wrong?” I asked nervously.

“When you move to Chicago, I want you to move in with me, Mellie.”

“Whoa.” I laughed nervously. “But you said we’d start off with me having my own place and see how it went. Remember?”

“I’ve changed my mind.” His smile spread so wide I thought his lips would split.

“I think you’re pressing your luck a bit, mister, don’t you?” I teased with an impish grin.

He laughed and shook his head. The smile slowly faded from his lips as he gazed into my eyes. “No. Pressing my luck would be telling you that I’m ready to start a family again, and I want it with you.”

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