Page 36 of Arouse Me


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“Not anymore,” she bragged.

“I’m happy for you,” I scorned, immediately wishing I could take the sarcasm out of my reply.

“I know you are. You already told me and meant it.” She waved her hand at the growing tension between us. “Have you ever sat down and asked yourself why you won’t get close to anyone besides me?”

“No, Doctor Phil, I haven’t.”

“Stop being pissy with me. I’m trying to help you,” Sanna huffed. “I know why. It’s the same reason I closed myself off from my own life, Mel. You’re afraid of loving someone and losing them.”

The air left my lungs in a rush. Tears prickled my eyes, and my heart felt as if she’d punched through my chest and yanked it out.

“It’s okay to let someone in. It’s okay to take a chance because it’s so worth it. I could keel over and die tomorrow, but I’d go happy. I have these two incredible, wonderful men in my life who fill me full of all the things I’d missed out on by being afraid. Listen to me and believe me. The joys outweigh the risks by so much, it’s incomprehensible.”

Tears slid down my cheeks as Sanna scrambled over the bench seat and wrapped me in her arms. “It’s okay, sis. You have so much love inside your heart. You have to stop wasting it all on me.”

“It’s not a waste,” I sniffed.

“No, but you’ve got so much more to share. Give it to someone who deserves you. Someone who understands your needs, even when you don’t. You knew long before I did that a Dom would complete you and fulfill the longings buried deep inside you. So, you picked the wrong one the first time. You might even pick the wrong one the second time, but somewhere along the way, you’re going to pick the right one. Just imagine how wonderful your life will be. You’re not a quitter, Mel. You don’t walk away from a job until it’s totally perfect. You didn’t bat an eye at moving back home to finish raising me when Mom and Dad died. So, why are you letting your fears make you quit and cheat you out of a chance at happiness?”

Chapter Five

When I woke the next morning, my eyes felt like they’d been dipped in kitty litter. After a second night of tossing and turning while residual images of Joshua filled my head, I couldn’t stop thinking about all the things Savannah had said. The two combined proved to make sleep an elusive indulgence.

Of all the questions that spooled in my brain, one in particular continued to stump me. When and how had my little sister found such profound enlightenment? Finally, it dawned on me. “When she found her Masters, of course,” I whispered aloud.

I tried to close my eyes and get some sleep, but it was useless. Dragging myself out of bed at nine o’clock, I shuffled to the bathroom and climbed into the shower. Leagh and Tony’s wedding was at three. Even though Julianna and Trevor were her bridesmaids, Leagh wanted extra reinforcements to prepare for her big day and had asked if Sanna and I would come early to help her get ready. I was strangely excited to be a part of it all. Usually, I avoided weddings, but after spending so much time with Leagh and the rest of the gang from Genesis, I was actually looking forward to it.

When I stepped out of the shower, I found a hot cup of coffee sitting on the vanity. Sanna. A smile spread over my face as I quickly dried, donned my robe, and opened the door. A pensive look lined my sister’s face as she sat on my bed.

“Hey. I’m sorry if I was too hard on you last night. I know you’re a big girl and live your life exactly the way you want. I had no business sticking my nose in it.”

“Oh, baby,” I groaned. “You have every right to stick your nose in. You’re my sister, and you’re worried. I get that. You have no idea how many nights I spent worrying and wondering if I’d done the best I could to raise you, to prepare you for the big bad world out there.”

“You did.” Sanna smiled. “I just needed a little help breaking out of my cocoon. Thankfully, I found the two men who could get the job done.”

“Yes, you did.” I grinned. “I’m sorry about my snarky comments last night. I am happy for you.”

“I know you are, and I know you were lashing out because, well…I was attacking you. I’m sorry for doing that to you. I just want you to be happy. Honestly, that’s all I’ve ever wanted. So, whether you’re with someone or alone, as long as you’re happy, then I’m happy for you.”

“I am happy. I’m just a little screwed up at the moment because of a certain man. But don’t worry. I’ll be back to my old self soon. I promise.”

Savannah gave a resolute nod, then hugged me tight. “We need to be at the church at one. The guys are going to fix breakfast, so come down when you can.”

“I will, and thank you for the coffee, baby. I love you.”

“I love you too.” A broad smile spread over her lips as she scurried out of the room.

Three and a half hours later, I stood staring at the two dresses draped across the bed. Vacillating between the designer, tea-length, cranberry twist, silk chiffon strapless, or the designer, knee-length, champagne chiffon halter, I couldn’t decide.

There was a soft knock at my door, and I let out an indecisive sigh. “Come in,” I called, too distracted to glance over my shoulder.

“Oh, Mel, you’re not dressed yet?” Sanna gasped.

Spinning around, I looked at my sister and gasped. The knee-length, strapless, royal blue, chiffon dress hugged her curves and made her eyes pop and her skin glow. She looked like she’d just stepped from a fairy tale.

“Oh, wow,” I whispered. “Sanna, you look…damn! You look stunning.”

She couldn’t hide her proud smile. “Hurry up. The guys are looking at their watches and pacing a hole in the floor. They sent me up to fetch you.”

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