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“Me? I never said he was a player. What the hell are you talking about?”
“You told me he released his sub. Was she the woman upstairs? The blonde? Was that his former sub?”
“Yes, but hold on. I never said Master Stephen was a player, ever.” She gaped. “He’s a well-respected Dom in our community.”
“Well, maybe not in so many words, but he obviously has a fine collection of Velcro collars.”
“Have you lost your fucking mind, Mel? He does not,” she snapped. “He never…it wasn’t a Velcro collar. He tried to teach her about submission. Carnation is a…well, she’s a lot of things, mostly a bitch and a drama queen. But trust me. Stephen did all he could to set her on the right path. She didn’t. He tried to…shit.”
“Spit it out, Sanna. I can take it.”
Sanna closed her eyes and held out her palms. “Okay. Listen to me. Carnation wasn’t really a sub. She just pretended to be one. At the club, she was more concerned about performing to the crowd than anything Stephen tried to teach her. He never gave up on her. He was tenacious. Hell, the man has the patience of a saint. He’s even more stubborn than my Masters, and that’s saying a lot. But nothing he tried to teach her worked, because Carnation wasn’t in the lifestyle for the right reasons. After trying and trying and trying, he finally released her. It was the only choice he had. Dammit, Mel, do you hear what I’m saying? Carnation is really one horrific bitch.”
“Yes, I hear you. But why did he collar her to begin with if she’s such a bitch?”
“I asked Julianna the same thing a while back. She told me that a couple years ago Stephen and Carnation started scening together. It was no secret she needed direction, so he offered her his training collar. That’s the collar he removed. He never formally collared her because she never earned it. She just wanted to flaunt the fact she had a Master to all the un-owned subs.”
As Sanna explained it all, a heavy cloak of humiliation weighed on me. I’d thought horrible things about the man. Made a total ass of myself in front of him and Sanna’s Masters. I owed them all an apology, but I owed Joshua an even bigger one. But what if he took my capitulation as a sign of submission? How could I make amends without him storming through my defenses harder than he already had?
“A few months ago, Carnation got pissed at Leagh and verbally tore into her like a raving lunatic, right in front of Stephen. He released her, but soon after, she dumped a soda over Leagh’s head in front of all the members at the club. Drake tossed Carnation’s ass to the curb, and Mika rescinded her membership, and that’s the last we saw of her, until today. I don’t know what she was doing upstairs, but obviously, Stephen handled it, because she’s gone.”
“Gone, for how long though?” I wondered aloud.
“Forever, I hope,” Sanna replied with a sour expression. Suddenly, she blinked and tried to bite back a grin. “You’re jealous of that heifer. Holy shit. I’ve never seen you jealous of anyone before, Mel.”
“I am not jealous,” I lied.
“Oh, Mel, shut up. It’s me you’re talking to. Remember?” Sanna chided. “You really need to go to dinner with him. What’s the worst that could happen? You’d have a good time?”
“No. The worst that could happen is falling deeper under his spell and doing something stupid, like submit to him.”
“Maybe you should. Don’t you think it’s time you put the past behind you and give it a try with someone new?”
I glared at my sister, wanting to debate her suggestion, but I couldn’t. The gnawing desire to feel whole again was all but eating me up inside.
“First, I have to apologize to him,” I pouted. “He might not even want to take me out now.”
“Yes, he will, but you definitely need to say you’re sorry.” She giggled. “Dressing down a Dom is…well, you know. You might already be in some serious trouble. He might just have to spank you.”
Spank me with those incredible hands of his? The submissive inside me stretched with an ancient burn. My brain protested, but I blocked out the screams and nodded.
With a squeal of delight, Sanna hugged me tight. “Good. Let’s go back.”
I mentally practiced my apology the whole way back to the table. Joshua smiled and stood, holding my chair like a classic gentleman, I took a seat and stared at my plate filled with rich Italian food. My stomach pitched, and I swallowed back the urge to vomit.
Turning to face him, I raised my head and timidly gazed into Joshua’s compassionate eyes.
“I’m sorry for my disrespectful behavior. I was inexcusably rude to you. My attitude was totally out of line and uncalled for. I truly am sorry. If your offer for dinner still stands, I’d like to accept, Sir.”
A slow, sensual smile spread over his lips. Drawing my trembling hand to his mouth, he pressed a soft kiss over my skin. Warmth enveloped me, like a calming blanket of bliss.
“Apology accepted, little one, and yes, the offer of dinner still stands.” A wolfish smile tugged at his lips. “I know the sub inside you is timid and shy. I’d like to know why. But I’m a patient man. Besides, I’ve coaxed her out before, and I damn well plan to do it again.”
“I remember,” I whispered. And dammit, if I didn’t get my libido under control, he’d be coaxing her out again before the night was through.
Leaning in closer, his warm breath made me shiver. “Trust me, Mellie. We’ll take this nice and slow, but I need you to be open and honest with me, okay?”
Would he? Would he really take it slow, not push and demand more than I could give?
