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The room was silent.Tony’s thumb circled my shoulder in constant reminder that I wasn’t alone.I knew in my heart he would always be by my side, supporting me.My rock.A sense of renewed strength filled me.
“I can’t take back the things I’ve done or the lives I’ve destroyed.When I saw you on the news, I called Special Agent Rizzo and begged him to set up this meeting.I had to see you and tell you how very sorry I am.Not only for what I subjected you to, but for taking away the woman your mom used to be.Don’t worry, Leagh.I’m not holding onto the pipe dream that you’ll ever forgive me, but I hope you understand how important it was for me to apologize to you.I never meant to fuck up your life.”
When Matt was done, I didn’t know what to say.Part of my heart broke in two for the pain and guilt enveloping him.But my mind screamed that he’d done it all this to himself, and I was nothing more than collateral damage from the bad choices he’d made.Could I forgive him?I didn’t know.
Tony cleared his throat.“Coming here to confess everything was very difficult for you.”
“Yes,” Matt whispered.
“I think Leagh understands that.But I also think she’s going to need some time to digest it all.Don’t you agree?”Tony asked.
“Without a doubt.I didn’t come here today expecting a heartfelt reunion,” Matt explained, looking at me once again.“Hell, I honestly didn’t expect you’d even listen to me.I’m relieved and very happy that you did.I understand why you thought I’d hurt you, but trust me.I’d never physically harm you, Leagh.It breaks my heart that my stupid choices caused you so much pain.”
His tortured expression almost made me weep.By confessing his deeds, Matt tore down the walls I’d erected, blocking childhood memories of the man.Not only had he bought me my first bike, but he ran alongside me to make sure I didn’t fall and scrape my knee, teaching me to ride it.When I got invited to my first high school dance, he snuck me out of the house and took me dress shopping.When I tried on the coral-colored formal gown, Matt’s eyes sparkled, and he repeatedly told me how beautiful I looked.He’d even insisted on buying the dress for me and showed up at the house the night of the dance to take pictures, like a preening father.
Tony had been right.I’d built Matt up to be a horrific monster in my mind.And I let the image feed my fears, so thoroughly, convincing myself that I’d lived with a maniacal Jekyll and Hyde, and I’d erased all the happy times and unconditional love he’d showered upon me.
“I appreciate you arranging this meeting and telling me the things you did today, Matt,” I hesitantly began.“Maybe, in time, I can forgive you.Over the years, I let my imagination run wild, but I still have nightmares of blood on my hands, and… hopefully, they’ll go away now.”
“I’m sorry, honey, so damn sorry.I never meant for that to happen.I panicked.Never in a million years did I want you exposed to the shit I was involved in.But when I saw you come around the corner with that bucket, I took that as a sign of acceptance.That you were committed to me, even the dark, ugly parts I never wanted you to see.I’m sorry I’ve ruined your life the way I have.I’m so fucking sorry.”Tears brimmed in his eyes.
“Please, stop saying you’re sorry, Matt.I feel your remorse.I do.But I’m so overwhelmed right now.I-I do want to thank you for taking me in and standing by me when I lost Nathan.I loved you more than I did my own parents.”
Matt closed his eyes and hung his head.Tears dripped from his cheeks and his shoulders shook in silent sobs.After several long moments, he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket, wiped his face, and lifted his head.
“I know I have no right to ask anything of you, Leagh, but would you please make an appointment to talk to someone, a professional who can help you past the damage I’ve caused you?”
I chuckled softly and darted a glance at Tony.“I’m already seeing someone.”
“Good.Good.”Matt nodded.“I am, too, and it’s helping.He’s the catalyst behind me coming here to see you.”
“I think, in time, you’re both going to be just fine,” Tony announced with a soft smile.
Special Agent Rizzo turned to Matt.“Is there anything else you need to say?”
“No,” Matt replied somberly.“I’m sorry doesn’t come close to what I carry in my heart, but hopefully you know that now, Leagh.”
“I do.”I nodded.
“Judge Landes, thank you for allowing us this visit,” Special Agent Rizzo announced as he stood and shook Reed’s hand once more.
“It’s been my pleasure to facilitate this for both Leagh and Matt,” Reed replied.
When Matt stood, I gave Tony’s leg a slight squeeze and rose from my chair.On trembling legs, I walked to Matt and wrapped my arms around him.A mournful wail gurgled from the back of his throat as he pulled me to his chest.Openly sobbing, he hugged me tight for a long time as tears spilled down our faces.
Pulling back, Matt wiped his eyes and sniffed.“Goodbye, my little munchkin.”
“Wait.When will I see you again?”I asked, my voice trembling as I brushed at my tears.
He flashed a beseeching look toward Special Agent Rizzo.
“Never, I’m afraid, Miss Bennett.Mr.Price is a dead man.In fact, neither of us were ever here.”
“But…” The finality of his words pelted me.“No.”
“Mr.Price is in the witness protection program now.He has a new name and a new city,” the FBI agent explained.“All ties to anyone in his past must be severed to protect him and those he loves.”
I felt Tony move in close behind me, his body heat like a blanket of reassurance, one that I desperately needed.As he placed his hands on my arms, I knew he was there to help me say goodbye to Matt.
