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“But I don’t want you to.You’ll end up hating me, and there’s more…I need to tell you more,” I implored.
Tony gave a thoughtful nod.“Go ahead.”
“I can’t lie.I thoroughly enjoyed sailing off that day, but I realized I never would have achieved subspace if I hadn’t been vulnerable and weak.I’m not normally a weak woman, and I keep wondering if maybe I’m not a submissive after all.”
“First of all, I know what I want.I want you.I don’t want a robot sub or a total pain slut.”Tony shook his head.“Not once have I ever thought you weak, Leagh.Submission takes a hell of a lot of strength and control.You’ve never had the chance to experience it…not fully.My goal isn’t to mold you into something you’re not.It’s to mold you into something more than you are already.Your spirit is like a breath of fresh air.All I want to do is give you wings to fly higher than you ever dreamed possible.”
“By not letting me orgasm?That’s not making me fly.It’s just pissing me off,” I mumbled begrudgingly.
Tony smirked.“It’s a lesson and a punishment, Leagh.You won’t always like what I do to you.But if I only give you what you want, you’re not really submitting to me.You’re only submitting to yourself.”
I’d never thought of it quite that way before, but I still wanted the damn orgasm.
His demeanor took on a righteous edge.“And don’t you ever try to kick or hit me again.”
I frowned and nodded.
“Every time you try to top from the bottom, I’m going to make you pay the price.There’s no way in hell I’m going to allow you to toss out smart-ass insults and condescending remarks toward me, or any other Dominant here.”
“Why does my behavior matter to you?”
“Becauseyoumatter to me.If I’m going to take on the role of protector and mentor, you have to know what I expect from you.”
“But why me?Why do you want to train me?”
“You mean, besides the fact that you need it?”He arched a brow.
“That’s not funny,” I grumbled.
“No, but it’s the truth,” Tony pressed.“I’ve been honest with you from the start, Leagh.And I’ve been attracted to you for a long time.You’re still in a vulnerable place.I care deeply about you, and I refuse to sit idly by while Doms stream out of the woodwork trying to lure your submission.The thought of you giving your power to anyone but me makes me crazy.If you accept me as your protector and mentor, you’ll have to abide by my rules.But I’ll make damn sure you reap the rewards, if that’s what you want.”
“I have to decide rightnow?”I blinked.
“No.We’ve got a ton of groundwork that needs to be laid before I put a training collar on you.”He dipped his head, leveling a serious stare.“You’ll have to open that closet, Leagh, and trust me.Whatever is inside isn’t going to scare me away.”
“You say that now,” I scoffed.“But what if it does?”
“Are you a mass murderer?”He grinned, and dammit, if I didn’t melt all over again.
“Of course, not,” I replied incredulously.
“Then you have nothing to worry about.”His playful expression sobered before he rose from the bed.Checking the circulation in my limbs clearly indicated Tony’s lesson was far from over.“Are your arms and legs doing okay?”
“Yes, they’re fine.”I nodded.
The weight of Tony’s expectations sent an unnerving itch crawling beneath my skin.And the fear of spilling the secrets of my past wasn’t only dangerous for me.The minute Tony found out about my involvement with Matt, he would be at risk, too.George had wheedled out my history with the assurance that he had money and friends in high places.With George, I had a guarantee if push came to shove, he’d find a way to keep me alive.But I’d never felt the riotous attraction to him that I did Tony, and my fears began to manifest into monsters.Tony didn’t have the type of network available to him that George did.And I wasn’t one hundred percent sure Tony would understand why I chose to stay with Matt for as long as I did.There was no guarantee Tony wouldn’t think me as guilty as Matt when the truth was told.
Uncertainty filled me with anxieties and insecurities.I wanted out of the ropes, to sit up and clear my head, sort out my doubts and desires.Clutching a fist, I felt for the quick release line in my palm, but it wasn’t there.A rolling wave of panic washed through me as memories of my last night with George crashed down upon me.Tugging at my bindings, fear—thick and oily—tightened in my throat, squeezing the air from my lungs as sweat erupted over my body.I was trapped.
“Protocol!”I choked on a frightened cry, jerking and thrashing against the bindings.The clamps bit hard, but the panic flooding my veins dulled the biting pain to a bothersome throb.
“Fuck!”The color drained from Tony’s face as he reached up and gave a hard yank on the rope.Instantly, my hands were free “I’m sorry, baby…this is going to sting.”
Deftly releasing the metal pinchers from my nipples, I cried out as the blood raced back into the tips with a caustic bite.Gathering me into his arms, Tony crushed my throbbing buds against his chest so tight I could barely breathe.“I’ve got you, sweetheart.I’m right here.”
Ruthless tremors wracked my body as I clung to him, desperate to absorb his reassurance and strength.Ambushed by the deluge of emotions, I was powerless to reel them in.Sucking in great gulps of air, I wrestled to calm myself.
“It’s okay, angel.You’re safe.I’m not going to let anything happen to you.I promise.”
