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Tony sidled in closer, his breath skimmed over my neck.“What do you want me to touch you with, angel?”
Everything.Desperate to feel—something—anything except the ground crumbling beneath my feet, I sucked in a ragged breath.“Your hands.Just your hands.Nothing else.”
“But my lips will get jealous,” he replied in a provocative drawl.
I gasped as Tony eased back, trailing his fingertips from my collar bone, down both arms.His decadent beauty made my heart flutter and my libido rage.He was stealing pieces of my broken heart, and I did nothing to stop him.I didn’t want to.His compassion brought something more than grief to stir inside me; it brought a flicker of life.Whether it was right or wrong, I ached for more—if only for a little while.
Leaning in, he lowered his mouth.My lips parted, welcoming, needing, wanting.The brush of his kiss was gentle, but the feel of his hot flesh sent a jolt straight to my core.Yielding beneath him, I skimmed my fingers over the stubble darkening his jaw.
Tony swallowed my tiny whimper; then his kiss turned urgent.Blistering me with demand, a deep groan rumbled low in his chest.His hands roved over my naked flesh as our tongues tangled in a torrid dance.The air grew thick in anticipation, and when his palms grazed over my rigid nipples, I moaned.The walls of my weeping pussy fluttered hungrily.
Gripping the cheeks of my ass, he pulled me flush against his generous erection.His cock jerked and nudged my belly while blistering heat penetrated his trousers.
Trying to compartmentalize my madness, I pretended it was George’s desperate kiss stealing my breath, his hot body controlling my weakness.But he’d never kissed me likethis.I couldn’t hold on to the elusive fantasy, and the cold hard truth slammed through me like a blast of arctic wind.
Tearing from Tony’s lips, I issued a mournful wail.Tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks as I backed away.Shame, guilt, and embarrassment collided with remorse.Its ugly bite was vicious.
“I’m a… I… I’m a terrible person.How can I do something like this to George?”I sobbed.Wrapping my arms around myself, I curled my shoulders in, trying to hide my shame.
“You’re not a terrible person, Leagh,” Tony whispered as he cupped my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze.“You’re human.You’re not betraying George, your relationship with him, or his memory.Don’t start beating yourself up for what you’re feeling.It’s a defense mechanism.It’s very common.When people lose a loved one, they sometimes feel an overwhelming need for physical contact.It’s perfectly normal.Your psyche is seeking validation that you’re still alive...still breathing.Physical contact with another person is your subconscious confirming that you’re still here.Trust me, angel.Everything you’re feeling is normal.”
“There is nothingnormalabout this,” I hissed.Taking another step back, I glared at him.“I just left the gravesite of my Master… my best friend.I’ve dishonored everything about him… about us.It isn’t right being here…naked and kissing a man that hates me.Please, Tony.Please, just…leave.”
“Hate you?”he blinked.A stunned expression lined his face.“What the hell?I don’t hate you, Leagh.I just told you I’ve struggled with the fact that I’ve wanted you for years.What in the world have I ever done to make you think I hate you?”
“Maybe hate is too strong a word.You always look at me like I’m a piece of dog shit stuck to your shoe.You call me brat every chance you get.I know you think I’m worthless as a submissive.I may not be a rocket scientist or college educated, like you and George, but I know when someone is looking down their nose at me.I’m not stupid.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”Tony asked incredulously.“I’ve never looked down on you, Leagh.Youarea brat, but in a spunky, fun way.You top from the bottom constantly, but you don’t do it maliciously, and you’re certainly not a damn drama queen like some of the other subs.Who the hell do you think I am to judge you, anyway?I’m not Dom of the Universe, nor do I want to be.”His expression softened as he stepped closer.“Sweetheart, I never meant to offend you.I’m sorry; I was only teasing.I thought you knew that.I’d never purposefully hurt your feelings.”
“You didn’t,” I lied.
“Yes, I did,” Tony corrected with a frown.“Listen.You’re feisty and unpredictable, and you don’t conform to traditional submissive ways.But guess what?That’s exactly how George wanted and needed you.He thrived as your Dominant.The day he found you, he turned into a whole new man.You brought joy to his life.You may not have been his soulmate, but he cared deeply about you.”
His words cut like a knife.I knew from the beginning George was a protector.It didn’t matter to me that the fireworks were missing in our relationship.I’d wanted stability, safety, compassion.He’d given me all that and more… and I’d loved him for it.
“I cared about him, too,” I sobbed.“That’s why it’s so wrong for me to be with you like this.”
“I’ve already explained that to you, sweetheart.There’s nothing to be ashamed of.Feelings aren’t right or wrong; they’re just feelings.”
“No.What I’m feeling is wrong.Waywrong,” I choked.
Tony’s expression took on that familiar icy edge.His eyes narrowed, and a ripple of fear mixed with arousal swept down my spine.
“What did I do now?”I cried in exasperation.
A deprecating smile tugged on one side of his mouth.His condescending expression vanished.“You didn’t do anything.It’s me.”
“I don’t understand.That look you just had on your face, it’s the same angry look you give me at the club.”
“That’s why you thought I hated you?”He shook his head.“No, Leagh.I don’t hate you.I never have.I spent every night watching you, despising myself for wanting what I couldn’t have.You’ve always turned me inside out, angel.I was angry with me, because I ached for you so fucking bad.”
I swallowed tightly.No matter how I tried to deny it, I’d always been keenly aware of Tony.He drew me to him like a magnet… calling to me in some strange primitive way.But instead of analyzing the prickly sensation his gaze induced, I had simply convinced myself he was disgusted by my lack of submission.
The puzzle pieces quickly fell into place.I never understood why I had to look away when he scened with Destiny, Naughty, Silver-Sin, or other pain sluts.Watching him smooth his hand over the sub’s skin or sink his teeth into her flesh, I had wondered what it would feel like to be so completely claimed.
Even though Tony’s need for pain scared me, his dominance was so commanding, I secretly dreamed of sampling a taste.George would have been crushed if he’d ever suspected I harbored such ridiculous fantasies, especially at the hands of another man.One of George’s biggest fears was that I’d someday ache for the affection of someone younger.He never outright confessed it, but he hinted from time to time.Likewise, George worried about our age difference, but I always reassured him that I was happy and content having him as my Master and lover.
Suddenly, it made sense in a bizarre and fucked up way.I’d been secretly attracted to Tony the whole time I was with George.I tensed, fearing I’d never really loved George as much as I claimed.Don’t be an idiot.Of course you loved George.You lusted after Tony just like every other sub at the club.Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill.Your heart always belonged to George.
