Page 78 of The Breakup


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My sister clearly thought so as well because she didn’t say anything.

“Okay, so maybe he won’t be thrilled, but we are dating. So this isn’t exactly a tragedy. For me, anyway. I’m actually really happy.”

“You’ve lost your mind,” she said flatly. “Do pregnancy hormones diminish your intelligence? Bel, you have to tell him. He needs to adjust to this reality.”

“I will. Soon.” Eventually—when it became too obvious when I was naked. “Right now he just thinks I’m eating too many doughnuts and I’m gaining weight.”

For some reason that made her laugh. “Are you for real? Oh my God, you are seriously too much. But I’m happy you’re happy. Though I question why you weren’t using birth control.”

“We were. For the most part. There might have been a tip a time or two.” I got into the hot car and turned it on, cranking the air-conditioning.

“A tip a time or two? I’m going to have a sample stitched and hung in your child’s bedroom with that on it. Even drunk as shit, Cain never came near me without a condom. It leads me to believe Camp really is Christian’s.”

“Probably. Not that it matters.”

“So if Ali tells Christian I’m pregnant, please assure me you will not go along with that charade. That you’ll fess up to the truth.”

“I promise.” But I crossed my fingers behind my back. I felt like I needed Christian to say “I love you” before I told him about the baby.

“Are your fingers crossed behind your back?”

“Damn it, how do you know that?” Sophie was too observant, even on the phone. It was annoying.

“It was just a high statistical probability. I guessed. Do not let your boyfriend think I am pregnant. I will be very annoyed with you. Because if Cain hears, I think he would actually be happy with news like that and then he’ll be disappointed, and I can’t have anything testing his sobriety yet.”

Well, when she put it like that. “Fine, I won’t. Sorry, I just panicked. I hate that girl so much. She’s a megabitch.”

“Agreed.”

She was also aggressive as hell. By the time I got to work twenty minutes later Christian waved me over to the bar. He looked worried. “Sophie is pregnant? Does Cain know?”

Shit. “Why would you think Sophie is pregnant?” I said, stalling for time. My mind was racing. I was not going to tell him I was pregnant here at the bar. Gross. I had planned to do a whole event. Like a gender reveal, only a pregnancy announcement. I wanted to wrap up the stick, give it to him with little tiny work boots, like he always wore. Along with a T-shirt for Camp that said Big Brother. Cute stuff. Not blurted out at work.

But given Sophie’s reaction to what she thought Christian would do, maybe that was the wrong tactic anyway. That was sort of the “I’m going to strong-arm you into liking this by being adorable.” It had worked at various points in my life, but maybe this wasn’t one of them.

“Ali just texted me.”

“What a bitch,” I exclaimed. “I just saw her half an hour ago.”

“So, you did tell her Sophie is pregnant? I repeat, does Cain know?” Christian leaned onto the bar so he could study me closer.

I was a terrible liar. My mouth worked. “Sophie isn’t pregnant. I only told Ali that because she was annoying me.”

“Bella. That is kind of a big thing to be making up.”

“It just slipped out. She is so horrid.”

“That’s true. But why would that even come up?”

“No reason.” I was squirming, legitimately shifting around in my shoes, wanting to just run away. “I should get to work.”

He didn’t push it.

But I underestimated the megabitch’s envy and Christian’s curiosity.

It only took him about ten minutes to figure it out.


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