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She mulls this over. “True ... Okay, next month, or the month after, when we finally have our wits about us again, we can do it nice and slow, with a curated playlist and everything.”
“It’s a plan.” I kiss her forehead. “Are you hungry?”
“Not really. I kind of want to go for a swim.”
“Then let’s go for a swim.”
She laughs wildly as I pull her off the counter and start carrying her to the back door. Our clothes aren’t on properly; we’re still sticky and wet.
“Cole!”Her protest is weak. I know she loves this.
We shed any remaining clothing as we walk along the sand toward the water. I’m not worried about us being seen. The beach curves between Marcus’s house and mine, making it so we’re on our own out here, just us and the fish.
Her bra’s forgotten. Her panties too.
Paige is naked, traipsing into the ocean wearing an ear-to-ear smile. Already, I want her again, but it’s more than that. I’m paralyzed. I can’t take another step forward. She kicks the water and tells me to come on, but I can’t even blink, let alone walk.
The sun is starting to set behind her, warm colors streaking across the sky. She’s encased in it, pure sunshine backlit by all that golden light. She’s the antithesis of everything I knew growing up. Vibrant and exciting. She’s all the colors of Oz, and I’m dumbstruck Dorothy.
“Come in with me, silly,” she says, bending down to splash me with water.
When I don’t go in after her right away, she tips her head to the side, her expression gentling.
“It feels a little weird, doesn’t it?” she broaches. “Finally being together, I mean.”
I nod and start to walk toward her, but she doesn’t let me reach her. She walks backward instead, drawing me deeper into the water until the waves splash up to my hips.
When I catch her, I hold my hand up like I’m flattening it against a pane of glass. She mimics me, pressing her hand to mine.
“You don’t feel real,” I admit.
She smiles wistfully. “I am.”
I swallow, and she stares at my throat, at my Adam’s apple as it bobs.
“It wasn’t the same for me,” I try to tell her. “I knew from the beginning. I knew I wanted to be with you.”
Her emotions tangle inside her. Her eyebrows furrow in frustration.
“You should have—”
I shake my head.
I know there’s a million things I should have done, but we’re here now. It took us this long. I want to apologize to us both, but then ... does it matter? We survived the journey, and maybe this moment is all the sweeter because of it.
My fingers shift and lace through hers, and then I bend down to steal a kiss, then another.
Later, we lie in bed, utterly exhausted. The spaghetti was made and devoured; the chocolate ice cream was shared at the kitchen island. I had her on the bed after, my real dessert. Her legs spread and her hair fanned out around her. She fisted the sheets as I dropped my mouth between her legs and watched her unravel like a loose spool of thread. If I close my eyes, I can remember the details. Her toes curling as she came, the flush that covered her chest and neck, her smell, hertaste.
I’ve never felt so defenseless. Loving her isn’t getting easier, I’m realizing.
Having her hasn’t eviscerated all my fears; it’s heightened them.
Lying in bed, stroking her arm, I feel like my heart’s completely abandoned me for her. She looks up at me with all the innocence of someone who doesn’t realize this. To her, I’m just Cole.
“Promise me you won’t break my heart,” she says with a teasing tone, but I see the reality in her eyes. The truth lurking there.
The concept of breaking her heart is laughable. I think my body would self-sabotage in an effort to keep her happy and safe. But she can’t comprehend that, so I just say, simply, “I promise.”
