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‘Valdora,’ Lyn hissed.
‘Well, I suppose theydoexist,’ I admitted with a shrug, letting my smile dwindle. ‘If you prefer to go ask the Mother for advice, I wish you the best of luck and recommend taking a good sword. Alternatively, you could go look for Etele on the continent. She’s quite possibly dead, and even if she is alive, she’s certainly insane, but if you like those chances better than having to rely on me, I once again hope fortune is on your side. It would be nice to have a goddess’s guidance in this matter, admittedly.’
A short silence fell. Nenya let out a cough that suspiciously resembled a chuckle.
‘Here’s the thing,’ I added, holding Valdora’s gaze as I leaned forward and planted my elbows on the marble table surface. She inched away from me ever so slightly. ‘I know you’re worried about the safety of your people. I know it must be infuriating to have some twenty-year-old show up and start bossing you around after you’ve been fighting this war for centuries. Iknow, alright? I understand – I really do.’
She stared at me as if I’d starting sprouting antlers. ‘You … what?’
‘And I didn’t want to end up here either, if you want to know.’ A gamble, that confession – a degree of vulnerability I would not have risked if I hadn't been so sure about the nature of the pain hiding behind that scowl. ‘I’m frightened, too. I’m lying awake at night just as often as you are, worrying what will happen if I fail. But having this power and refusing to eventrywould make me a coward, and if that’s the alternative, I’d rather be a failure.’
Some fine alf reasoning. I wasn’t surprised to see a few blond heads nodding along on the edge of my sight, although Tared still hadn't glanced my way.
‘So please allow me to explain my thoughts,’ I finished, spreading my hands. ‘If you disagree, just tell me why, and I’ll be more than happy to reconsider. But at least do me the favour of believing I’m doing the best I can, too. My life hangs in thebalance as much as everyone else’s, in case I needed to remind you of it.’
Her lips were parted a fraction, as if she’d been about to speak but realised halfway through that she had lost track of her thoughts – had possibly lost track of whatever the hell words were supposed to be.
Lyn was covering her mouth on the other side of the table, small shoulders trembling dangerously.
‘Right,’ Nenya said firmly, sitting up even straighter in her black leather-and-lace corset before anyone could break the spell by firing some insult at me. ‘So, what are your thoughts exactly, Emelin? I don’t presume you want to leave that whole castle full of bindings lying about uselessly until we’ve lost the war.’
‘Oh, no.’ I settled back in my seat, drawing an annoyed squeak from Alyra as she once again had to adjust her position. ‘There are a couple of options, I would say. First of all, I’m pretty sure Thysandra knows how the bindings are categorised.’
‘Yes,’ Lyn said slowly, sending me a warning look, ‘but—’
‘I could see if I can make her talk?’ Naxi burst out before I could interpret that gaze correctly, jolting up from her armchair with such vehemence that she almost bounced onto the floor. ‘If you just tell me where you’re keeping her, I could—’
‘Naxi.’ I’d heard Lyn annoyed and exhausted before, but rarely quite like this – an edge to her voice that reminded me I was not the only one who’d seen Creon’s binding fall and shatter in those moments of chaos. ‘For the fifth time: I may usually be agreeable, but I’mnotan idiot. You’re not getting anywhere near that cell before we’ve ruled out every other option, and you should be counting your lucky stars that we haven’t yet chained you down on the opposite side of the Underground. Drop it.’
Naxi sagged back into her chair like a wilting flower.
I might have felt sorry for her if the sound of breaking glass had not still been echoing through the shadowy corners of my mind. Now I forced myself to look away from her teary blue eyes, turn to Lyn instead, and say, ‘Did Thysandra give the impression she might be open to a bargain of some kind? Her freedom in return for this information, something like that?’
‘She informed me she’d rather be tortured to death than betray the Mother in any way,’ Lyn said sourly. ‘Don’t think she was exaggerating, either.’
I had to admit that sounded likely, from all I knew about her. Still … ‘She may not be prepared for more humane approaches, of course.’
‘Yes.’ She rubbed a curl from her eyes. ‘It’s worth trying, I suppose. Anything else?’
‘We could look for the Mother’s administration.’ I pursed my lips. ‘We know she’s able to break individual bindings, so she must be keeping the paperworksomewhere. Agenor might know if it’s at the Crimson Court, and if it isn’t, we could take a look at some other likely locations, which would hopefully be a little less secure.’
Lyn sighed. ‘Yes. Let’s ask him in the morning. And we can send some people to the Cobalt Court ruins to double check for clues, too. We still have that magical key we took from Thysandra.’
‘Yes,’ I said slowly.
She raised her eyebrows. ‘Doubts?’
‘No. I mean, no, we should look for all the information we can find. Just … we should be extremely careful not to leave any traces.’ I grimaced. ‘I have no idea how frequently she sends people to take a look, but we’d be in serious trouble if any fae arrived and found our lunch wrapping lying about.’
‘So why don’t we just move them?’ said a willowy nymph I thought was called Kiska, worrying her purple bottom lip. ‘She can’t destroy them if we’re keeping them in the Underground.’
‘The identification, though,’ I said.
Nenya frowned. ‘You think we’d lose information we need to identify them even if we keep careful track of where we found each binding?’
‘Well, we don’t know what information we need,’ Lyn said wryly. ‘And I agree with Em that there is a chance. Even if it’s small, I don’t think I want to risk losing track of everyone’s magic and fertility like that unless we truly don’t have another choice.’
The room was quiet for a moment as people digested that argument. A few heads nodded in agreement; Valdora remained coldly silent, which amounted to the same thing.
