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The blond vampire broke the silence. ‘So how will we know when we truly don’t have another choice?’
‘We’ll need people on the lookout,’ Valdora said brusquely. ‘Someone to keep an eye on the court from the outside and alarm everyone as soon as any fae arrive. Svirla could take that upon its shoulders, if needed.’
I thought Lyn would protest, but all she said was, ‘Thank you, Valdora. I greatly appreciate that.’
The expression that crossed the alf female’s face was not a smile yet, but there was a little more warmth to it than before.Gratitude, I realised. Some job to be done – some way to be useful. Who cared if it was not the most exciting, adventurous task, as long as it might at least contribute to the greater cause?
Hell. I really might have underestimated her.
‘Alright,’ Lyn said, straightening in her seat to her full four feet. ‘I think that’s all there is to be said on the bindings right now. If any developments occur, I’ll let you all know, of course. So that brings us to—’
‘The phoenixes,’ a grim alf male interrupted.
The room seemed to cool a smidgeon in the silence that followed.
Again, all eyes turned to me – those eyes that had been full of approval a moment ago, now abruptly reminded of yet another reason to distrust me and my motivations. The gods-damned phoenixes.If and only if Em makes a bargain …
Fuckers.
‘The phoenixes are a little complicated,’ Lyn said, sounding like she was treading on thin ice.
‘The phoenixes are rarelynotcomplicated,’ Nenya mumbled, which seemed a rather worrisome observation to me if her idea of average complications consisted of vampire kings sucking people’s veins dry at their convenience. ‘Is it true, then? About that bargain they demand?’
So they hadn't told her about it, that night at Zera’s temple when we’d received Agenor’s message. I shrugged and said, ‘Afraid so.’
Someone hissed in a sharp breath next to me. The narrowing eyes around the circle seemed to convey similar opinions.
‘Cas has tried to get them to make another suggestion,’ Lyn hastily added, drawing the attention back to her own small figure. ‘But … well, we all know how they are. The current stance they’re clinging to is that it’s our turn to act now, and that they are not offering any new proposals for an alliance until they have received a formal response to their previous one.’
‘I’ll be happy to send them a formal response to stick that bargain up their arses, if you think that’ll help,’ I said.
For the shortest moment, I thought I saw Tared’s shoulders shake in the corner of my eye. He was studying an enormous silver sword on the wall when I fully turned to him, though, and there was no trace of amusement to be found in the placidexpression on his face; some stupidly hopeful part of me must have imagined it.
I gave myself a mental kick. Tared really shouldn’t be my main source of worry in this room.
‘They are going to be extremely unhappy about that,’ Nenya said stiffly, and she certainly wasn’t smiling now –I had myself sucked dry by my worst nightmare to ensure an alliance, the coolness in her eyes said,and you’re not even considering a compromise? ‘Even if we word it a little more diplomatically. Are we sure there isn’t any way around this? If we just bargain you won’ttalkwith him and we make sure not to exclude signing …’
‘No,’ I said.
‘Emelin’ – Valdora pronounced my name like an exasperated mother about to send her child to their room for the next three days, with no books or games allowed – ‘do you fully understand what’s at stake here? Weneedthe phoenixes. Fighting fae without any winged forces is—’
‘—impossible. I know.’ I gave her an apologetic shrug. ‘And I’ll try and get them on our side all the same, don’t get me wrong. I’m just not going to make that bargain.’
Her huff said I’d just lost any and all goodwill I may have fostered with my vulnerable little speech, and then some. ‘Is that whatdoing your bestmeans to you? Giving up on your noble intentions the moment you need to make an actual effort?’
Alyra let out a sharp squeak on my shoulder.
‘Oh no, you’ve figured me out,’ I said, rolling my eyes. ‘Fighting myself to near-death against the Sun fleet and almost drowning as a result was no effort at all, of course. Nor was breaking into the Cobalt Court, actually. Walk in the park.’
‘Well, then, what’s the matter with that bargain?’ one of the vampires barked. ‘Surely if you were willing to do allthosethings …’
‘It’s the bloody Silent Death we’re talking about,’ Valdora added with a sharp laugh. ‘Even if you consider yourself a …friendof his for whatever unfathomable reason …’
Oh, damn it, then.
Something seemed to have broken within me this night. As if I was a thread that had been pulled tighter and tighter for weeks, stretched inches past my limits – and now I had snapped, and there was no going back to the lengths I’d once managed to go. What did I care if they all thought me a madwoman, if the few people whose opinions I cared about already did?It’s not that he’s a friend of mine, I opened my mouth to say, the words crystal clear at once.It’s more that I love him so much I’m not sure I can breathe without him. It’s more that he’s a better person than all of you with your petty fears and grudges combined, and I’d rather lose the war to give him the peace he deserves than sacrifice him to win it. I—
‘It has nothing to do with friendship, Valdora,’ Tared said.
