AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I watched the camera feeds for thirty minutes after I locked myself in my room. Charlie sat on my couch and cried before she went back to the gym and gathered her things. She looked destroyed. Defeated. Like her entire life was crumbling and she didn’t know how to keep her head above the water.
And that… that made me feel worse than any physical injury ever could. To know I caused her so much pain makes me want to never step foot in her life again.
Maybe I should ask Owen to trade me to a new team. Give everything up. Start fresh in a new city and start a new life. I’ll leave Blake, Kennedy, and the kids behind. I’ll leave Mulberry Lane to continue on without me. I’ll accept being a loner and remember what I was taught when I became an orphan.
Everyone leaves eventually. No one sticks around long term. You’re always going to be alone. Any love you’re shown is conditional and can be ripped away at anytime.
A loud pounding on my front door has me sitting up and glaring into the darkness. Whoever is here knows the code to get through the gate, but that still leaves at least a dozen possible people.
“Open the fucking door, Wyatt!” Dad’s voice booms.
I slip on a pair of athletic shorts and hurry to the front door. I wonder if something happened. Did Charlie get into an accident on the way home? Are Mom, Peyton, Nikita, and Creed ok?
I fling open the door and find Dad’s hands on either side of the frame. His head is hung low and he looks like he’s barely hanging on.
“Dad? Is everything ok? What’s going on?” I can barely get the words out. My throat feels like it’s closing in over the possibility of something being wrong with the people I love.
He slowly raises his head and I'm met with red-rimmed eyes and so much sorrow. Someone had to have died, right? There’s no other way he would look this broken.
“What happened?” I stumble back a step.
Please, God, let Charlie and my family be ok. I'm not sure I could live without them.
“I let you down. I promised I would never leave you. I swore my love was unconditional.” He shakes his head and steps inside the house. “I’m the world’s shittiest father and you deserve so much better than me.”
“What are you talking about?” I ask slowly. “Where is this all coming from?”
“Fuck, Wyatt!” He shouts, making me jump a little. He thrusts his hands through his hair and tugs on the ends. If he keeps going, he’s going to be bald before he leaves here.
I quickly shut the front door and follow him into the living room. He collapses onto the couch and leans his elbows on his knees. He laces his fingers behind his neck like he’s trying to control himself. I’ve never seen him like this and honestly, I'm a little scared.
“Dad… What are you talking about? You’re not the world’s shittiest dad.”
“I don’t deserve to even be called your dad after what I did. I'm so disappointed in myself. I let you down in every way. I abandoned you when you needed me the most. What kind of father does that?”
“Listen, I’ve had a really emotional night. If you could explain to me what is going on, that would be awesome because I'm not following.” I scrub a hand down my face. I’ve already had emotional whiplash, I'm not sure I can handle more.
“Charlie just reamed everyone a new asshole.”
My brows draw together and I stare at him like he’s crazy. I missed something, right? I had to of.
“She called everyone into the pavilion and called us all out. Fuck, Wyatt. I never stopped loving you. I never stopped considering you as my son and I never would.”
“I didn’t say you did, Dad,” I say slowly, still not completely understanding why he’s so upset.
“No, because I raised you to be a good man… but I made you feel like that. I made you feel unworthy of my love. Like my love was conditional and could be ripped away because you hurt Charlie. I didn’t lend you a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on. No, instead of praising you for making the hard decision and putting someone else first, I criticized you and told you how stupid you were being. I made you feel unwelcome in your own home. I didn’t stop anyone when they treated you like shit. I didn’t stand up for you or tell them to mind their own fucking business. I didn’t call you to check in and see how you were doing. I didn’t ask the hard questions and get to the root of why you did it… I just walked away and let you handle everything alone. I let you hurt alone.”
He hangs his head low as a sob shakes his body. I'm frozen in my spot and I don’t know what to do or say. Blake’s always been one of the strongest men I’ve ever known. He’s always done what’s right and was a role model I strived to be. That has never changed.
To see him this broken up over something that happened eight years ago… I just feel paralyzed.
“I fucking failed you and I don’t know how to live with that.”
“It was a long time ago. It doesn’t matter anymore,” I whisper as emotion clogs my throat. My eyes are filling with tears and making my vision blurry. Is he really this upset over this? This torn up over making me feel unloved?
“It does matter. It matters just as much today as it did when it happened.” He shakes his head more to himself than to me. “I saw you pulling away. And because I'm a jackass, I thought you were doing it to stay away from Charlie or to avoid the consequences of your decision. I never for a second thought it could be because you didn’t feel like you were a part of the family anymore. Like you weren’t loved just as much because you and Charlie split up.”
“It’s fine,” I choke out as the first tears slip down my cheeks.
