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She presses her cheek against my chest, her head resting in the crook of my shoulder as her arms curl around my waist, pulling me tighter. Her breath hitches, like she’s holding in a sob, and I don’t hesitate to wrap my arms around her.
She fits perfectly in my arms, the way she always did, and my body heats up the way it used to. I’m sure she can hear my heart racing a mile a minute in her ear, but I don’t care.
I push down the fears and the anger that always screams at me when Teigan manages to break down another wall of defence I’ve been building for a decade.
I know all the reasons we shouldn’t be doing this. I know all the reasons why I should push her away, and create as much fucking space between us as possible. I know the only possible outcome here is my already broken heart getting trampled even more. Yet, I don’t move, and I don’t let her go.
A decade ago, I once told her that if ever she needed me, no matter what, I’d be there for her. She would always be able to turn to me, and I would take care of her. I would protect her with my last breath. And no matter what’s happened between us, that promise remains. I may hate Teigan, but a part of me will always love her.
“Nobody will ever take you or hurt you again,” I whisper in her ear, adding to the promise I made her a long time ago.
Her breath stutters as she lets out a sigh. Reluctantly, she pulls back from my hold, her hand still resting on my arms. “Thank you. Now, teach me how to kick ass.”
I chuckle as we move over to the mirror, and I go over different defensive strategies with Teigan.
The next few days pass in a very similar way. We start the day by having breakfast together, both of us enjoying our coffee in companionable silence. Then I usually go off to my office, to catch up on some business meetings, while she attends counselling, or talks to Bree or McKenna. Then we meet up in the gym.
We work out together for hours. I show her defensive strategies and talk her through moves to throw off an attacker. We go over it slowly at first, before practising the drill over and over again until she’s got it right. Then we move onto the next.
I always make sure to throw in a cardio workout and some weight training. It will be easier for her to take care of herself if she has a decent level of fitness. Not that she needs to lose weight or get more muscular, as I keep reminding her. This is purely so she can feel safer.
At first, the sessions go well. She’s a great student who listens to all my instructions, and is keen to run the drills over and over again until she gets them right. But lately, she’s been getting more and more snappy with me.
I know my attitude hasn’t been helping. Since that first session, when we hugged, I’ve been trying to put a little distance between us. It’s not that I don’t want to be there for her, I just don’t want to get my heart broken any more than it already is. I won’t deny that I’m attracted to her, but that doesn’t mean I want something to happen between us. In fact, it’s the last thing I want. So, I’ve been trying to keep a professional distance.
The only problem is, that’s nearly fucking impossible when I have to see her in those fucking work out shorts, or put my hands on her hot little body as I teach her. It’s driving me fucking crazy, and I’ve been taking that out on Teigan, snapping at her to work harder, or to get things right quicker.
I don’t mean to be a fucking asshole, but all I can think is that if she gets a grip on the move quicker, I can end the sessions sooner. Then I can return to my room, sink into a cold shower as I wank to thoughts of her, before drowning my sorrows in a bottle of whiskey before I fall asleep.
Teigan is clearly reaching the end of her tether with my bitchy behaviour, as she’s starting to snap back at me, which is why we both find ourselves glaring at each other, minutes from losing our temper.
“I don’t know what the hell crawled up your ass and died recently, Evan, but I’m getting a little sick of your pissy attitude. I’m trying here,” Tee snaps, her grey eyes flaring dark as she glares at me.
I try to take a deep breath, to claw back a little control, to prevent my frustration from bubbling any closer to the surface. “I know you are trying, but you should be able to do this. You’ve done harder moves than this before, Tee. It’s like you’re notreallytrying.”
Her nostrils flare as she takes a step towards me. “I am fucking trying. Maybe I’m sick of you only teaching me how to defend myself,” she shouts, her hand pushing against my chest in frustration.
“You asked me to teach you how to defend yourself,” I shout, throwing my arms up in annoyance.
She stomps her foot before taking a step closer. She’s so close now, she has to lean back a little, so she can look up to meet my gaze. “No… I asked you to teach me how to fight. This isn’t fighting.”
I roll my eyes at her dramatics, which only makes her more annoyed. She huffs as she hits me in the chest again. I reach out and grab hold of her wrist to prevent her from hitting me again.
“You don’t need to know how to fight. You need to know enough to get free, so you can run the fuck away. Fighting will only put you in more fucking danger, Tee,” I grind out through gritted teeth.
She twists her arm out of my hold, glaring at me, anger flaring in her eyes. “If someone is attacking me, I’m already in fucking danger. I don’t want to just know how to defend myself. I want to know how to fight, so I can help others, so I can protect the people around me.”
I reach out and grab her shoulders, holding her still so she has no choice but to look at me. “Fuck the people around you. Fuck helping others. All you should care about is getting yourself out of there.”
She twists her body so my hands drop off her shoulder. She’s almost vibrating from all the anger streaming through her veins. I know because it’s the same way I feel. I consider trying to say something to calm her down, to defuse the tension, but before I can, she catches me off-guard.
Adapting a couple of the moves I taught her, she drops down low and sweeps her leg out, knocking my legs out from under me, so that I fall to the floor. Once I’m on my back, she wastes no time jumping on top of me.
She uses her knees and ankles to pin down my legs, her thighs straddling my hips, as she places her hands on my shoulders, using all her strength to pin me down.
It happens so fast, I’m almost a little stunned. It takes me a few seconds to realise I’m on my back, Teigan straddling me, our bodies connected in the most delicious way as she pins me to the floor.
I know if I wanted to, I could flip her off in a second, but why the fuck would I want to? I’ve dreamt about her in this position for years. Though admittedly, in my dreams, she was wearing a lot less clothing, and was a lot less angry. But this will work for now.
