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My future has been mapped out for me since before I was born, with no one bothering to ask me what exactly I want out of life. All that changed the day I met her… Teigan Murphy.
It wasn’t a love at first sight moment, not like they tell you about in Disney films. We met at school when we were both eleven, but we weren’t friends. I knew her enough to say hello to, and we had mutual friends, but that was it. I can’t even say I reallyknewher. Though, I wasn’t all that interested in girls at that age. I was just trying to survive life as heir to my dad’s crazy throne.
I remember the exact moment when I really started noticing her. We were fourteen, and she came back after the summer holidays looking so different from when I last saw her. I’m assuming she hit puberty because her whole body had changed, and it wasn’t long before she consumed my every thought.
Her long brown hair now sat all the way down her back, and curled a little, giving her a slightly chaotic appearance. Her skin had cleared up, making her face look smooth, showing off her plump pink lips.
She’d developed curves in all the right places, with boobs that occupied my mind much more than they should have. Although she was taller than most girls her age, she was still almost a foot shorter than me, but I kinda liked that—it made me want to protect her, which was definitely a new feeling.
Despite her having a body that haunted my dreams, the thing I noticed most about her was her eyes—which, ironically, hadn’t changed—I just didn’t look hard enough before. Her grey-coloured gaze seemed to see into my soul, and her eyes sparkled in a way I never seemed to notice before. I was a goner.
It took me almost a year to build up the courage to ask her out. I spent that time getting to know her, growing closer to her.I wanted to be sure she liked me before I opened myself up to the possibility of rejection.
I was still going through puberty myself, and even though I knew girls found me attractive, I didn’t have a lot of self-confidence. And I’d placed Teigan so high on a pedestal that there was no way I’d be even close to being in her league. Or, at least, that’s what I thought.
I’m a little ashamed to say that even though I was the one to ask her out when we were fifteen, she was the one to make the first move. We were at a house party of a mutual friend. I was entranced watching her roll her hips, dancing around the living room like she didn’t have a care in the world.
But every so often, her grey eyes would latch onto mine, and it was like all the air was sucked out of the room. It was just her and me, and I knew every move she made, every twirl of her hips, it was all for my benefit.
She waited most of the night for me to make a move, but I was frozen. In my head, I’d approached her a thousand different ways, but in reality, no words would come to me. I know I should have just gone over and said hi, maybe even offered to get her a drink. Fuck, anything would have been better than standing there, staring at her like a peeping Tom. But I was stunned by her beauty, and words failed me.
Tee was clearly bored of waiting, and after about an hour of trying to seduce me with her body, she stomped over, a fierce look in her eyes. With each step she took towards me, my heart raced.
Other guys spoke to her, but she ignored them all as she charged across the room to me. I clenched the can of lager in my fist tighter, hoping she wouldn’t be able to see the slight tremble.
“Are you ever going to ask me to dance, or do I have to keep eye fucking you for another hour?” she says, cocking her hip in my direction.
My mouth flops open, and I can’t help but smile. The more I’ve gotten to know Teigan over the last couple of years, the more I like her. She’s outspoken and fierce, but there’s also a vulnerable side to her that she doesn’t let many people see.
The girl in front of me, the one with more confidence than most girls would ever dream of, she’s the version she presents to the world. The one she wants everyone to see, but as she pulls her lip between her teeth, her eyes flickering down to the ground quickly and she shuffles on her feet, I can see the real Tee. She’s nervous and worried I might shut her down.
For a brief moment, I chastise myself that she’s had to put herself in this position. I’ve grown up in a fucking lethal crime family. I know how to shoot a gun, how to torture people for information, and I’m ashamed to say, I’ve killed more people than any sixteen-year-old ever should.
Yet this beautiful girl stands before me with more balls than I could ever dream of having. I think maybe this was the moment I knew—she’s the girl I’m going to marry. The only girl I want by my side. If I’m going to rule the Doughty family, I need a queen by my side, and this girl is definitely tough enough.
“Honestly, I was quite enjoying the eye fucking, but I wouldn’t say no to a dance,” I reply with a wink, all whilst thanking that my voice didn’t waver.
A bright smile crosses her face as she holds her hand out for me, and as soon as I clasp our fingers together, while she pulls me onto the makeshift dance floor, I know I never want to let her go.
We’ve been together for two years, and our impending future has been hanging like a weight around both our necks. Father has made it quite clear what he expects from me when I finish school in a few weeks, and he’s not interested in what I want.
I tried to tell him that I want to go to university. I’m happy to take over running the family when the time is right, but untilthen, I want to live my life as much as I can. I want to go to university, get a degree, and have a normal life. But more than anything, I don’t want to be separated from Teigan.
She’s the love of my life, and I can’t deny her anything. She knows about my family, and the expectations that are placed on me as the oldest child. While she’s never told me what to do, she has tried to make me see that I can have so much more. Just because it’s something Father expects of me, doesn’t mean it’s what I have to do.
Teigan has always said it’s my choice. If I decide to take over from my father, she will be by my side when the time comes. Until then, she wants us to create a life for ourselves. I think she hopes I will see that the grass really is greener on the other side, and I will give up the expectations that have been placed on me since birth.
If she’s willing to stand by my side when the time comes, the least I can do is stand beside her now, while she lives the life of her choosing.
She’s always been incredibly smart, and for as long as I’ve known her, she’s known what she wants to do. She plans to go to university to study criminal psychology with counselling. She wants to work with offenders, helping them to rehabilitate, learning to understand them and what motivates them.
The irony that she wants to help criminals is not lost on me, since she’s been helping me see through the haze of the criminal world I was raised in for as long as I’ve known her.
I’ve never dared to dream about a different future, as it’s not an option for me. But when I agreed to move to England to go to university with Tee, I knew I needed to pick a course. My mind was blown as I read through the course directory, trying to find something that interested me.
In all honesty, it’s a massive waste of money, as we both knew I’d never use the degree when I started working for Father.Tee told me to do something that I was passionate about, but I honestly had no idea what that was. I’d never been allowed to think for myself, to choose to do things I enjoyed.
In the end, I settled on doing business studies. It sounded boring as shit, but when I take over running the family, I will be running a business. So I figured learning how to run one legally could only help me. I even tried to spin it that way when I asked Father for his permission, but he declined.
