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I look down at the ground and bite down on the inside of my cheek, alarmed by the sudden emotion that’s overcome me. These past few days, I’d been doing everything possible to put up a front—to act as if losing Delaney hadn’t left a gaping hole in my heart. I’d been lashing out left and right, and the whole time, all the boys wanted to do was make me realize that it was okay tofeel.
It was okay to accept that I loved that girl.
That energetic, adorable, bubbly girl who had bounded in on her first day and encapsulated every ounce of my attention ever since.
“You need to talk to her, Coach,” Green says, his voice gentle as he places a hand on my shoulder. “She was devastated. And we know that you are as well.”
“It’s too late,” I speak after a moment, shaking my head. “She’s gone back to the US. There’s nothing I can do.”
For once, I find the silence amongst the group highly unsettling before Wilks shoots the guys a devious grin in delight before placing the bracelets back into my hand.
“Well, Coach…” He smirks, and for once, his cocky smile brings a sense of reassurance to my soul. “Looks like you’re the one who’s going to end up going south after all.”
TWENTY-FIVE
D E L A N E Y
There issomething oddly comforting yet utterly heart-wrenching about listening to the same breakup playlist on repeat for a week.
On the one hand, it’s a relief to hear that I’m not the only one to have experienced their heart being torn into a million pieces. But is it really helping that this playlist only consists of one song?All Too Well (Taylor’s Version)10 minute version. No. No, it’s not.
Not even Miss Swift can take away the ache in my heart—and the worst part? The one person who I know can is 4,854 miles away.
Yes, I googled it.
Several times, actually.
The past seven days have felt like a total blur. Everything happened so quickly—from fleeing the field, clearing out my place, jumping on a flight back home. Yet now, as I watch the clock, day in and day out, time achingly ticks by the second.
It shouldn’t be this way.
I should be back in Crawley…back with Crawfield…back with…
No.
I can’t keep doing this to myself.
It’s a vicious merry-go-round that’s only making me more nauseous the more I think about it.
Warren left me.
He left me standing there without a chance to explain myself. A chance to make things right. And now, I can’t help but wonder if he’s also feeling these same levels of intense emotions. Or have I totally missed the mark, and he’s thanking the heavens that I’m gone?
I don’t know.
I feel like I don’t know anything anymore.
Without him, nothing makes sense.
Warren was the answer to every problem—the end to every question. The clarity to every uncertainty and the one person I thought saw me, forme.
Maybe Gramps was wrong when he said I’d find someone. Maybe there isn’t one perfect “someone” out there for me. Maybe I’m doomed to loneliness for the rest of eternity.
Stop it, Delaney.
I have to scold myself.
What am I doing?
