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I struggled to comprehend her words, the haze of alcohol and self-loathing making it difficult to accept absolution.
“I’m just going to hurt Sasha. I can’t let her down like everyone in her life has,” I murmured, the fragility of my resolve evident in my voice.
She smiled at me, pulling me into a tight hug. “I don’t know who Sasha is, but she must be a special woman to have gotten you to come back from your escape to Ireland. You’ve changed a lot, I can tell. I heard you finally quit the finance job you hated and started a new venture with Ryan. That's amazing, Ethan. And if Sasha is who inspired this change in you, I’m guessing she will be just as understanding and supportive of your past if you share it with her.”
Beth’s eyes held a depth of understanding as she whispered, “And Ethan, you didn’t fail Jake. We didn’t fail Jake. We’ve grown, changed, and learned. Don’t let the ghosts of the past destroy the potential of a future.”
As the room spun, Beth’s words lingered, challenging the echoes of self-imposed guilt. The alcohol-induced haze couldn’t erase the weight of the conversation, leaving me to grapple with the truths I’d uncovered and the uncertainties that lay ahead.
“Tell me more about Sasha,” Beth asked.
But my eyes had already closed as I slipped off into a deep sleep.
Chapter 23: Sasha
“Ethan!?” I asked, urgency in my voice and relief when he finally answered my call the morning after we were supposed to meet at my apartment. I’d called a dozen times and left two voicemails with no response. I had started wondering if I should call the police, I was so worried.
“Hi, is this Sasha?” the female voice who answered spoke back.
My heart sank in my chest.
“Yes…” I responded tentatively. “This is Sasha. Is Ethan okay?”
“Yes...” the voice trailed off. “He’s okay. I’m an old friend of Ethan’s. He had a little too much to drink last night and crashed at my condo on his way home. He’s awake now, trying to sober up with a quick shower and coffee. I’ll let him know you called and encourage him to come see you later today.” The voice spoke and then hung up before I could ask more questions.
Who the hell was that, and why did Ethan spend the night with another woman while standing me up?
My blood began to boil, desperate for answers. Knowing the mysterious woman probably still had Ethan’s phone, I fired off a text to him anyways.
Sasha: Ethan, what the hell is going on? Where were you last night and why were you drinking with another woman. Call me.
Receiving no response and noticing that it was already 7, I realized I needed to get dressed and head down to the university for my morning class. Thankfully, my afternoon was free so that I wouldn’t have to spend the entire day pretending like I hadn’t just potentially been cheated on by the first person I’d allowed myself to be vulnerable with since Colton.
I’m a fucking idiot! I berated myself as I drove towards the university in silence. The past month had been the happiest days of my life. Normally I’d be making this drive listening to upbeat tunes and smiling as I thought about how I’d be spending the night later with Ethan. Today, however, I rode in silence, mulling over what could have led Ethan to another woman’s house last night.
How could I have known? Ethan had asked for a chance, and I’d given it to him. I felt like he was different and though I usually looked for the worst in men as a means of self-protection, this time I’d given him a chance. I just hoped I wouldn’t regret it.
Around noon my phone finally pinged as I wrapped up my human resources fundamentals class.
Ethan: I need to talk to you. Can I come by in an hour?
No explanation or answers provided to any of the questions in my previous text. I decided to keep it simple.
Sasha: Fine.
One hour later I was back in my apartment, sitting on the edge of my couch, nervously fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.
I’d called Ella on the way home to tell her what had happened and see if she had any details from Ryan. She had been shocked and had no idea who Ethan could have been. While we were on the phone, she sent Ryan a text to see if he’d acted strangely at work yesterday. When he responded, he’d advised Ella that Ethan had blown off a full day of work without an explanation.
“Thanks for letting me know, Ella.” I responded. “Something definitely feels off.”
“I agree. I hope there’s a logical explanation, Sasha. Keep me updated.”
As I hung up with Ella, I heard a soft hesitant knock on the door. My heart quickened as I opened the door to find Ethan standing there, a disheveled version of the man I’d known for the past month.
The scent of alcohol clung to him, and his eyes were clouded with something I couldn’t quite decipher. His light brown hair was messy, and he was wearing a pair of loose grey sweatpants and a dark Under Armour t-shirt.
“Ethan?” I spoke, concern etched in my voice. I hated that I was still worried about him, even though it was me who had been stood up.
