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He didn’t meet my gaze immediately, and when he finally did, I saw turmoil raging in his eyes.
“Sasha,” he began, his words soft and hesitant. “I came to tell you that we can’t do this. I can’t do this.”
I felt a pang in my chest, my stomach dropping at his words. “Do what, Ethan? What’s going on?” I asked, desperation seeping into my voice.
He took a deep breath, his gaze darting away as if he couldn’t bear to look at me. “This... us. It’s not right. I’m not right for you.”
Confusion washed over me. “Ethan, you can’t just come here and say that without an explanation. What changed? What happened last night? Who were you with?” I asked, my voice growing angry as I took a step back and crossed my arms across my chest.
He hesitated, and then his gaze hardened. “I was with Beth.”
My eyes narrowed as anger and hurt welled up inside me at the recognition of that name. Ethan had told me his ex-fiancé’s name was Beth and she’d ended things between them prior to his departure to Ireland.
“You were with your ex-fiancé!?” I screamed, not caring who I was disturbing with my yelling. “Is that who answered your phone? I trusted you! You pursued me, and I gave you a chance. I was perfectly content with my life the way it was. Now you’re ending things as soon as they started because you went to see your ex?” The words tumbled out, a mix of anger and confusion.
“Did you cheat on me last night?” I asked, terrified of the words he might say in response to my desperate question.
“No, Sasha. I’d never do that.” he spoke firmly.
I sighed a bit out of relief but still thoroughly angry and confused.
Guilt flickered in his eyes. “Sasha, the history with Beth and I is complicated, and you deserve better than I can offer.”
My anger boiled over, and I felt the sting of betrayal. “Don’t you dare decide what’s best for me. You don’t get to make that call, Ethan.” My voice rose, echoing through the condo.
He sighed, and his gaze fell to the floor. “I’m sorry, Sasha. I never wanted to be another man in your life to hurt you.”
“Well, it’s too late for that because you have. Get out,” I snapped, my tone sharp. “Get the fuck away from me.”
Ethan stumbled backward, his features a mix of remorse and reluctance.
He left without another word, and as I kicked the door closed behind him, the weight of his departure settled in the room, leaving me alone with the shattered fragments of what I thought we had.
Chapter 24: Sasha
“People’s actions or reactions to certain undesirable situations are never a reflection of you or your self-worth, it’s a reflection of what they are going through on their own journey.” Natalie spoke gently to me. “Everyone is doing the best they can to navigate their presents while accounting for the wounds of their pasts.
“It seems like you don’t have the full picture from Ethan and until he provides that to you, you’re only getting a snippet of what happened to push him to spend the night with Beth. He said he didn’t cheat, right?” she asked.
This was after hours for Natalie, and I wasn’t her patient, but we were splitting a bottle of wine on the small seating area at the back of our condo, catching up on life as I spilled to her the details of what I’d been processing the past week since Ethan and I’s abrupt breakup. Things had been going so well between us.
I relayed the events of last weekend over again in my head.
Ethan and I had spent the weekend in downtown DC, checking out a few local bars and then walking along the basin again. Each night, we’d head back to my condo where we’d fucked in every position and surface of my home. Natalie had been out of town this past weekend, taking one of her new certification exams, and Ethan and I had decided to take full advantage of having the place to ourselves. He’d been insatiable, and I’d been right there with him, feeling our connection deepen every time we were together.
And it wasn’t just fucking. Ethan wanted to do it with our eyes open, lights on, no sheets or blankets. At one point we'd stumbled out to our small, covered porch, wrapped in nothing but a blanket as we felt the warm spring breeze, Ethan's cock slowly glided in and out of me as he kissed me and murmured how good it felt.
“This past month has been amazing. There were no signs indicating we were headed towards a breakup. Natalie, the things he was saying to me…” my voice trailed off, not wanting to feel like a fool again.
“I just don’t fucking get it. Why was he with Beth? Why did he get blackout drunk instead of meeting up with me? Why did he blow a full day of work? And why, if he was going through something, did he run to Beth instead of me?” I cried in exasperation as I drank my third glass of wine.
Natalie was silent as she listened to the story I’d recanted.
“Sash, I don’t think we’re going to solve this one tonight. It’s been a week now of you pouting around inside.
“Let’s go out and enjoy ourselves. Maybe meet some hot guys to take your mind off things. What do you say?” she asked.
A night out drinking in the city with my best friend sounded exactly like what I needed.
