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“I have never been someone’s first, and I honestly don’t know how to feel about it.” My words were hollow to how passionately I felt about it all. I was terrified that Marilyn had never been with a man. I loved the idea of it, untouched and just mine, but it was a lot of responsibility too, and I was worried that I would do something wrong. I wanted her first time to be magical. That was a lot to deliver. Magic.
Marilyn shrugged and said that it was just like any other time. I didn’t think that was right. I never worried about the outcome as much as I did with her. I was so freaked out about doing something wrong and messing it all up. It was certainly different than anything that I’d ever thought of before. I just couldn’t get the thought of her being untouched out of my mind. It was a lot to wrap my head around and not get all excited. Marilyn was dying for it, just like I was, even though she had no idea what “it” was.
“Was that why you were so worked up the other day when we came back and saw your house like that?” I wondered aloud. She agreed reluctantly, but I would have known by how red her face got. At the time, I thought she was in medical shock or something when she kept pushing it. “Was that the first time you came?”
Marilyn wouldn’t look at me and I took that as a good sign. I know that I’m not supposed to like the quiet before the storm, but I did. I really wanted Marilyn to understand how badly I needed her. I had to slow down to pull myself together, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want to, it was because I needed to.
“Are you sure you are ready?”
She made a face. “Do you know how long I have been waiting for you, Hal?”
It hit me then. I would have never dreamed that Marilyn would be untouched, never in a million years. It seemed like our breakup had some serious side effects. I just couldn’t believe it. I had always regretted it, but I thought I had done the right thing. How could that be true if she had never gotten intimate with a man? Was she really waiting for me all this time?
“You don’t have to wait any longer, I promise.” I meant it too. I wasn’t going to leave her side, until I was deep inside of her, bringing her pleasure that made her wait worth it. I tried not to think about it too much, because that just meant that would be even more pressure.
“Good, because I don’t know if I can. I need you Hal, now!” Her voice was so damn sweet and impatient. I really loved the way she sounded when she was being demanding. It turned me on to no end. If that was what she was going for, it had certainly done the trick. I was ravenous for her now, nothing was going to stand between us now, the universe be damned.
I couldn’t have asked for a better answer, and when she grabbed the hard rod between us and started pulling me toward her, I knew that things were going to get interesting. I could feel the inexperience in the way that she held my manhood and how she was tentative even as she gripped it. Marilyn was in over her head and if I didn’t know any better, I would say that I was as well.
14
Marilyn
Hal was just as frustrating as before. I was nervous, worried about what came next because I knew that it was going to hurt. I was already sore from his hand and now I knew where he wanted to put his long and thick rod. I had it in my hand, I knew how big it was. There were naturally questions of if it would even fit and what it would feel like to have something like that jammed inside of me, but I wanted to know. I wasn’t going to give into a feeling, until I knew if it was one that I even wanted or not. I was trying my best to figure out what came next, but I really had no idea.
He was over me, a few inches from touching me with his heavy head, but he was just staying there, not moving forward and I whimpered. The anticipation was killing me and when I looked up into his eyes, it seemed to be bothering him just as much. Why was he making us wait? What was he even waiting for? I had a lot of questions that I wanted to know the answers to, but I had no idea what his answer was.
Our eyes met, locked, and then he lowered me to his lips, kissing me and holding me where I was. “Are you sure?” His eyes beseeched me for an answer, and I’m pretty sure I knew what answer he was hoping for. I could see it in his eyes, and I loved it.
I didn’t answer at first because I couldn’t believe what he was asking. He kept asking and I agreed for the umpteenth time. I was ready, this was the time, the place, everything was perfect, nothing was going to stop us this time. I could feel him pressed up against me and I wiggled against him, trying to hurry him along. It needed to be quick and done like a bandage. This slow pace he was taking was making me all kinds of crazy. “I will say anything that I have to if you will just do it already.” My teeth were clenched, and I wanted to stop tensing up. Once he was in, and the pain was over, then I could enjoy it. There was no enjoyment at the moment. It was a mental game I didn’t want to play.
“Don’t you want me?” I asked him finally. Hal still hadn’t moved. He was just looking down at me with something akin to fear in his eyes. What was he afraid for?
“So badly.” He agreed through clenched teeth. He was still holding back, even though I had practically begged him to give it to me. When I tried to think it through, I couldn’t. I was gasping for it, a mere few inches away from him and I still felt like it was going to never happen. Why was he taking his sweet time? Did he know how much he was driving me crazy? Did I not like it? I think I did. I was down for whatever he wanted, as long as it wasn’t more of this. I wasn’t going to be happy until I was finally no longer untouched. I’d always dreamed that it would be Hal and now it could be. Nothing sounded better to me than that. I just didn’t realize that getting him to do the deed was going to be so hard.
“If you don’t take me now, you are not ever going to get the chance again.” I said it not as a warning, but as the truth. I would not be able to do this again with him.
That seemed to make him rethink his stance. I think we both knew that if he wanted it, I would give it, but I needed him to want it as badly as me. I was the one that was having trouble with it. I couldn’t focus on anything else. How was I supposed to deal with any of this when I was trying too hard for what came next?
His hard length was at my opening, and he captured my lips in a kiss. I took the chance to do what I wanted and that was to penetrate myself with his long length. I wasn’t prepared for the fullness and the feeling of stretching that came over me instantaneously. He was just as big as I knew him to be and feared. Hal ripped through my final defense and we both made a sound of pain, his being shoved into something so tight. He pushed deep and made me scream after the initial reaction to him pushing in. Hal was just what I needed, even if I didn’t know it at the time.
Shaking underneath, him, I couldn’t speak. My eyes were closed, lips still pressed up against his, and I was ready to explode. I’d never felt so full in all of my life and even though all I could feel was sharp pain in the moment, it didn’t last long at all. I couldn’t focus on anything else, and I was wiggling underneath him, not even trying to stop enticing him. I could see that he was ready to lose it and there was nothing I could do to stop it, I doubted that I wanted to.
“Are you okay?”
I agreed that I was, even if my body was screaming at me from the inside. He was tearing me asunder and instead of worrying about it, I begged for him to give me what I needed. I couldn’t vocalize what I needed because I had no idea, but there was something that was nice about that. It was so intense that there were no words. I just grunted and moved my hips, moving him inside of me by doing that. It was so much more overwhelming than I would have thought, having Hal inside of me.
At the moment, we were actually one, and all of the young-me dreams that I’d had about him were coming true. The craziest part of it all was the fact that I liked that they were true. Hal was perfect, and I think that I was head over heels for him. It didn’t help anything in the long run, but I couldn’t have enjoyed the moment more.
“I can’t hold back much longer,” Hal said through tight lips. I told him that he didn’t have to, and he pressed deeper, making me gasp. I wasn’t ready for it, so he got that sound, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t try to push deeper. My eyes closed and though I knew I wasn’t prepared, I couldn’t help but try to be. I just needed to relax, and I reminded myself of that fact several times.
“You don’t understand.”
I pushed him off of me, and he reluctantly pulled out. I could see the confusion on his face, but it didn’t last very long. He was on his back, and I was straddling him moments later. Then he could have his wishy-washy feelings and I could have what I wanted. I had one thing only on my mind and when I sank down on him, his eyes widened and flew to me, and I just smiled. “You worry about what’s going to happen next and I’m going to ride you, okay?” I sounded far surer than I really was. Getting up there wasn’t as easy as I’d thought it would be. I was about to sit down and start moving again when he grabbed my hips and held me there. He moved up from underneath and I swear that it was everything that I needed and more. Hal didn’t have a clue what he did to me.
He was in me so deep, and I was calling out. Hal had the sexiest sound when he gritted his teeth and let me move. I didn’t feel as rhythmic as I would have hoped to, but that didn’t matter in the end. All he wanted from me was to feel good, and I felt really damn good at the moment. I was trying hard to pull it together, but it didn’t look like it was going to be something that was all that easy.
My next orgasm ripped through me differently than the last. It was deeper somehow, more sensitive, and I was shaking hard when it finally subsided. I realized that I was perched against him. Our eyes met and he wanted to know if I was ready for him to take over. I wasn’t, not really, but it wasn’t something that I could control much. My hesitation was enough for him to take control of the situation and I was calling out when he started to push deep again. I was not sure what he did, but he was hitting inside of me differently, and I couldn’t keep up with the difference. It felt a lot better, deeper, touching parts of me that I didn’t know existed.
