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“I was a POW, Marilyn. I was kept in captivity for about eight months, six months after my tour. I got paid for the time, but technically, it was just the one tour. After I got back stateside, the last thing I wanted to do was reenlist.”
A pin could have dropped and been heard a mile away, that was how quiet it was in his office. I had no idea what to say. I wanted to put my arms around him, knowing that he was lucky to be there, to be alive. I was so confused. What could have been, scared me. I could have potentially never seen him again. There was certainly something dark and mysterious in his eyes. It made sense now, though I had taken it far too personally before. It wasn’t that at all. Instead, it was something else.
“Oh.” It was the only thing that I could manage, and I still felt ridiculous to even say it. I jumped to conclusions that were obviously wrong.
“Sorry, I shouldn’t have said it like that. I don’t usually tell people, so I guess I don’t know how to soften the blow so well,” he reasoned.
My hand went to his hand, and he just looked at it for the longest time, before he finally met my gaze. Those damn blue eyes of his were battling like a storm and I couldn’t look away. “Thank you for telling me, Hal. I am sorry if I brought up something that is painful for you.”
He waved me off and said that he was fine. He didn’t look fine. He looked like he was reliving it or something, and I wanted to hug him. I wanted to make that look in his eyes go away. What horrors he must have seen, and the length of time was hard to imagine. I knew that Hal was strong, but that was on a whole new level. I felt my eyes getting misty just thinking about it.
He pulled his arm away. He didn’t jerk it back, but he moved to give a little bit of distance, and I wish that I hadn’t reached out to him. He didn’t tell me that because he wanted me to feel bad for him and show him pity. Hal had told me that to explain. He was practical.
“Sorry, that has to be a bad subject. I didn’t know.”
“Why would you?” He snapped it back at me, and I was still unsure where I had ruffled his feathers.
“Well, I am glad that you learned all of this. I feel safer knowing that you are helping me. I can’t say that I would have felt the same way if it was anyone else.”
He grunted and said something about how he liked to help. I was sure that there was something going on, and I wanted my stupid heart to slow down. It was acting like there was nothing I could do. I wasn’t going to let it bother me. I couldn’t. Hal had shown me time and again how little he was interested in a relationship. Here I was fawning over him, and he was trying to get through his day.
I sat up and thanked him for the extra effort and information that he had. I wanted to get out of there before I embarrassed myself further, but he stopped me. “Where are you going?”
“I thought that we were done?”
He disagreed. “No, we need to talk about what we are going to do about your ex. I don’t know if a system and a piece of paper in court are going to help anything.”
I sighed and told him that he wasn’t helping anything. I wanted to know what was going through his head. He was so blasé about it all. Didn’t he feel anything?
“You don’t have to worry about me, Hal. I’m not your responsibility. I think the system will be enough. What you have come up with looks good, and I know that it will be just what is needed.”
He growled at me a little and said that I wasn’t listening. I wasn’t, of course, but that didn’t mean that I was going to start any time soon. Hal came to me with all this information, and I didn’t know what he wanted me to do. I was thoroughly freaked out, wasn’t that enough?
“You need to have someone stay with you. Don’t you have any family around here that you wouldn’t mind living with for a while? Many times, guys like this just need a little bit of incentive not to do it. He won’t be as likely to try and mess with you if he knew that you were living with someone. If it was a man, that would be even better.”
The suggestion felt out of left field, and I didn’t know anyone, especially a guy that I wanted to stay with. I think that me and living with someone was not something that ended well.
“I don’t know if that is possible. I will have to think about it.” I didn’t want to tell Hal flat out that there wasn’t anyone. It would be embarrassing.
“He is calling you now, you need to do something now, Marilyn. I am not trying to scare you or anything, but you have to see how doing nothing is a bad idea.”
I could and he was right, but that didn’t mean that I wanted to agree to it. I wanted to make sure that we were on the same page. “So, what, I am just supposed to have someone move in with me for a while? How long?” I was exasperated with the suggestion and my lack of an idea of who that “someone” could be. How did I get here?
Hal said that he wasn’t sure how long I would need to do it, but it wouldn’t be forever. “Just until he forgets about you, which may take a while. He will eventually find someone else to stress over and you will be in the clear. It would be much easier if you were living with someone, right?”
I told him again that I didn’t know anyone, and he said that I did. “Who?” I wanted to know.
“Well, I mean, I will come stay with you if you want, just so that you can put this all behind you. No one will mess with you if I am there, and if he tried anything, I would take him out.”
He said the last part simply as an afterthought, but I was pretty sure that he meant it wholeheartedly. “Stay here, you?” I thought he didn’t want to be attached to me, his words, when he broke up with me before going to college.
“Yeah, why not? You don’t have anyone, and I don’t mind.”
“What about your life? I mean, don’t you have a girlfriend or something?”
He shook his head like that wasn’t going to happen and I wondered why. How was he still single? Why did I like the idea of it so much? Damn it, I was going to say yes.
7
