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“But… I know other people do.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’ve been dealing with people like her my whole life. Some are open and unapologetic with their opinions. Others hide them but let them slip with crude jokes or stereotypical remarks that they think aren’t bad. My dad always told me I had to work twice as hard to get half as far. One, because I’m a woman, and two, because I’m not white. It’s not something new to me. I’ve dealt with it for far longer than you could ever imagine”
“But I don’t see race or creed or background. I just see the most beautiful woman I have ever met.”
“Saying you don’t see my race is just as precarious. I know you don’t mean it in a bad way, but saying you don’t see it means saying you don’t see a part of who I am. People like Verity and your mother will always see me as less. It’s one of the reasons why I came here tonight.”
My brain couldn’t keep up with what was going on.
“I care about you so much. You make me happier than I ever could have expected. But what happened tonight is just another example that it isn’t enough. We shouldn’t continue with this relationship. One thing Verity said that is correct is that we do come from different worlds. That’s just a fact. Your world, your family, and the people around you don’t believe I fit in it. And I don’t have the strength to fight. I don’t want to fight for people to give me a chance. Get to know me. See who I really am. I’m sorry. I really am, especially today of all days.”
This couldn’t be happening. It felt as if my body wasn’t my own. In shock, I watched her stand. She kissed me, and I felt her tears against my cheek. Then I watched as she walked out the door and closed it behind her, the sound echoing right to my soul.
Chapter 24
Serena
“Do you want tea, coffee, or something stronger?”
Ruby did her best to gauge how to act around me. I knew she was utterly surprised when she opened the door at 11 p.m. to find me standing there, eyes red and my heart split in half. I didn’t know where else to go. After leaving Rhett’s apartment, I was a complete mess. Knowing I couldn’t face going back to my apartment alone, I jumped into a cab and came straight there. She hadn’t been back long, as she’d spent the last few hours trying to get Julian to sober up enough for her to leave him at his apartment.
“I’m sorry. I should have called before.”
“Don’t be silly. You know you’re always welcome, and I’m always here for you.”
I settled on a brandy, needing something soothing. I shivered as Ruby made our drinks and handed me a blanket. I wrapped it around me, but I knew there was no point. The cold was coming from within. Handing me a glass, she sat down next to me.
“So, I’m guessing you went and saw Rhett?”
“I did.”
“And what happened?”
I took a big sip, and then I told her what happened.
“Are you kidding me? Who does she think she is? Is she a damn psycho?”
Drinking more of my drink, I told her about Rhett being angry with her but how her words had a more significant effect on me than I wanted them to have.
“As awful as it sounds, it felt like something shifted. Suddenly I saw things in a different light, and I couldn’t unsee it. That’s when I told him we couldn’t be together anymore.”
“You did what?”
“The words just came out. I feel that through doing this, doing it now, I’ll be saving both of us so much. I thought it was the right thing to do.”
“And how did he take it? I don’t mean to rub salt into the wounds, but the poor guy has probably just had one of the worst days of his life, and this is how it ends?”
“Don’t. I feel terrible. He just sat there and looked at me, his eyes looked broken. So, I just left.”
“Oh, Serena.”
She came over and wrapped her arm around me.
Finally, the dam broke and tears flooded out of me. My chest heaved, my body trembling. I didn’t remember ever feeling like this. Even after my mother left us, I never felt this shredded.
“It’s okay. It’s okay.”
