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"Do you?" he counters.
"I thought I did."
"You thought?" Cash sounds hurt as the words leave his mouth.
I place a hand on his chest. His rock-solid, sturdy chest. "I love you, but I think you need to figure out if you want to be in a long-distance relationship for the next four years."
"I do," he immediately replies.
"Do you really?
Before he can answer, I hear an unexpected shriek and what follows next can only be described as a shit show.
"What are you doing?" Mrs. Allred covers her eyes in horror.
Cash tries to cover himself as her gaze narrows in on his condom-less length.
"NO CONDOM?!" She roars.
"The door was closed! Why didn't you knock, Mom?" Cash yells back.
And then, as if things couldn't get any worse, Wilder's face appears as he takes a bite out of a sandwich.
Mortification floods Cash's face. "Can you guys GET OUT?"
"I need to go to the pharmacy," Mrs. Allred panics, her blond curls bouncing as she paces. "We need Plan B. I can have Lucille greet the guests while I go. I'll only be gone ten minutes at the most."
"We didn’t have sex,” I roll my eyes at her. "I'm not taking Plan B."
"GET OUT!" Cash yells again.
Wilder gives me an air fist pump. "Way to go, Blondie. Finally got that D!"
My mouth drops open in shock as Mrs. Allred turns to look at him. "She planned this?"
"Planned what?" Wilder stares at her in confusion.
"Unprotected sex with my son!"
A wicked smile crosses Wilder's face. "Yes, yes she did. She planned this whole thing. I think she's hoping she gets pregnant."
I hate you! I mouth at him. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!
"Can you all please leave?" Cash tries again. Then, he does something completely unexpected. He removes his hands from his nether region and pushes his mom out the door. As it slams behind her, he places his palms on the wood.
Not sure what to do, I reach around him for the door handle.
"Ingrid," Cash says quietly.
I don't look at him. "What?"
"Wait for just a second."
I pause.
“Don’t freak out,” he whispers. “I will take care of this. She’s having a hard time with me leaving.”
Tears fill my eyes. Of course, he would defend his mom.
