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15-year-old Cash carried my backpack to class for me.
16-year-old Cash took me to the movies and felt me up as soon as the lights dimmed.
17-year-old Cash snuck into my room every chance he got.
Almost 18-year-old Cash doesn't seem to like me anymore.
Cash isn't great with confrontation. Cash isn't great at defying his parents. Except when it comes to condoms, apparently.
I really wish I had a friend right now. Instead of talking to a girlfriend about all of this, I'm stuck sharing the details of this infuriating situation with Mom, whose head is always in the clouds, and Isla, who only thinks about herself.
This is what happens when you spend all four years of high school being Cash Allred's girlfriend. Not to mention the bane of Wilder Cox's existence. I didn't make friends. I didn't have a social life outside of Cash—and Wilder.
Now, Cash is leaving me.
I wish someone would have warned me.
Wait... someone did.
He's going to break your heart. Because guys like Cash don't go off to college without their high school girlfriends...
Wilder. Why did he have to be right about this? The one time I needed him to be wrong.
"I can't take this anymore," Isla stands from the couch and rushes to the door. She throws it open and taps her foot restlessly. "Get in here, Allred! We're tired of watching you pace back and forth."
Cash shoves his hands into the pockets of his khaki shorts. He must have been playing golf with one of his father's colleagues before gracing us with his presence.
"Could you have Ingrid come outside?" Mom and I hear from our spot on the couch.
Mom grabs my hand and squeezes it lightly. "Go on now."
My throat dries, and my hands begin sweating as I force myself to stand on shaky knees. I should have found a way to move to Baltimore instead of staying close to home for college. I should have left Cash's room instead of having sex without a condom. I should have made friends and had a social life outside of my boyfriend and his best friend.
I should have done so many things differently.
As I pass Isla, she raises her chin in an unusual display of solidarity. For once, it actually feels like I have an older sister.
"Hey," I say to Cash as Isla shuts the front door behind me.
And that feeling is now gone. She could have left it open in case she needed to intervene.
Cash takes two long strides forward and kisses me before I have a chance to register what's happening.
He's... kissing... me.
He's kissing me.
He's kissing me!
I wrap my arms around his waist as his hands tangle with my hair. Our lips mash together, and I let out a sigh of relief as his tongue slips inside my mouth.
This. This is the Cash Allred I've been missing.
We kiss and kiss and kiss as my hands roam his back and his roam my front. I don't care that Mom and Isla might be watching from the window, or that Wilder could be lurking nearby like the creepy stalker he is.
Cash is kissing me, and it knocks me off my feet.
For the first time in months, the worried knot in the pit of my stomach disappears and I melt into him like wax to a flame. This. I've missed this.
