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"Jump out of the tree at the creek."
"Only if I get to choose the branch," I wager.
"Fine."
"That's seven." I hold up my fingers. "I guess I get to choose lucky number eight."
"What's it gonna be?" Wilder crosses his arms over his chest.
What's something that Cash Allred's girlfriend would never do?
I clear my throat. "Send a nude."
Wilder smiles wide. "Sounds like we have our Lonely Summer Bucket List then. When do we start?"
"Friday?"
"Works for me," Wilder says as he leans back in the passenger seat.
I groan. "I can't believe I agreed to jump out of the tree at the creek."
"I can't believe you suggested sending a nude."
"Life is short," I shrug. "You ready to go pick my stuff up from Fanny?"
Wilder exhales. "Knowing Fanny, it's probably sitting on the curb with the trash."
"I think I'm okay with that."
"Yeah?"
I pull back onto the road. "Yeah. I think everything will be fine."
And maybe it will be.
Chapter 6
The Legend Himself
Frank Bertinelli is a douchebag. A short, round-faced baboon. And he's currently sitting across the dining room table from Dad, lecturing him on the pitfalls of government dependence.
"I'm just saying, Jason," Frank steeples his fingers together, "maybe you should think about settling for a lesser-paying job. Unemployment isn't a good look for this family. Plus, it's embarrassing for Isla every time Jill comes into the grocery store and uses food stamps. I talked to my manager and he's willing to give Jill a job on the night shift stocking shelves."
"But I have a job," Mom interjects with a quizzical look. Mom is a dog walker. Basically, she works out for a living. She just does it with four-legged companions whose owners give her money instead of with a trainer who takes her money. Mom's not the brightest crayon in the box, but she does make decent money for someone whose business model was written in colored pencil.
"Not a job that can support this family," Frank scoffs. "I mean, you think you can pay the mortgage and keep the electricity on by walking dogs? Come on, Jill. You should know better than that."
Honestly, I'm not surprised selfish Isla would fall for this narcissistic display of pigheadedness. Even Fanny Allred isn't this outlandish and contrived.
"Get out of my house," Dad's face turns red.
"I'm willing to loan you the money to get back on your feet," Frank continues. "But you'll have to—"
"Get him," Dad looks to Isla, "out of my house. Right now."
"He's just trying to help, Daddy," Isla defends her stubby boyfriend.
"Then you should take the job stocking shelves," Dad tilts his head to the side. "And you can start paying me rent."
