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Oh fuck. This was what I had feared ever since Cisco got checked out of the hospital. I had seen Bones slowly shutting down, and I had no idea how to handle him.
“I’m on my way,” I said as I ran to put my shoes on and find my keys. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes or so.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck…
I tried my best to picture how this was going to affect everything. Bones would get himself into shit, dragging the entire gym down with him. If he threw another fight, no one would ever trust him again, and his career would go right down the toilet. Not only that, my family business would be on the line, too. I didn’t know if he realized he was also putting me at risk. Or maybe he was just so deeply involved in all of this that he didn’t care anymore. Maybe he had developed tunnel vision, and all he could see was the chance to save his dad.
I understood his reasons. Of course I did. But that didn’t make him going back to the dark side of his life right.
After driving like a mad woman to get to Bones and Lotto’s, I burst through the front door and raced right to Cisco’s side. He looked pale and fraught, whereas I was sure that I was red-faced. My heart pounded heavily, nausea swam around in my stomach, and my mouth had run dry with fear. But at the moment, I was not worried about me. I was more concerned about how Cisco was feeling, so I pulled him in for a comforting embrace.
“What’s going on?” I whispered so as not to wake Lotto, trying to steady my breathing. “Tell me everything.”
“Bones is about to do something crazy again,” he said, sadness in his words. “I tried my best to stop him, but he’s going back to Nero Rodriguez – his old gambling contact. The one who got him into all that trouble in the first place. I considered telling Lotto, but I’m not sure how he’ll handle it and… I don’t know.”
“Bones promised me that he wouldn’t ever get involved in anything like that again.”
“I know, but he can’t seem to cope. I think he’s becoming unhinged with it all.” He sighed, sliding into the nearest chair. “I’m just so scared that he’s going to end up in the same place that he was last time—taking out loans with loan sharks, betting on everything, throwing fights to make up the money. And Lotto… that man will do anything for Bones. Even if it’s not on the up and up. He’ll throw himself down on the sword if he has to.”
This affected everything. I needed to fix this, sooner rather than later. “Do you know where he’s gone?” I was desperate for a way to reach him. If I could just find Bones, I’d be able to make him see sense. I’d ensure he found another way.
“No.” Cisco shook his head gravely. “I don’t really know anything about Nero Rodriguez. In all honesty, I never thought that I would have to, again. I thought that he was out of our lives for good.”
“Okay, so if we can’t find him, we need to get cash another way,” I said determinedly. “If we can prove to Bones that we have other ways of getting the money, he’ll abandon his plan completely. He’s only doing this out of sheer desperation. It isn’t because he wants to.” I nibbled on my finger staring off into space as I thought.
“I don’t want you to do that,” he snapped. “I honestly don’t want any of this. I don’t want the treatment at all. This has nothing to do with money, but the fact that I can’t… I won’t go through it all again. I’ve done the dance too many times, and I’m sitting this one out.”
“What… what do you mean?” Anxiety coursed through my veins, and I struggled to breathe.
Was he saying what I thought he was? Was he trying to suggest that he didn’t want any treatment? Of course that was his decision, and I’d have to respect it, but that didn’t mean I’d like it. He deserved to live far longer than this cancer was giving him, but he was also a grown man who should be able to make his own decisions.
“I mean that I’ve had a long and fulfilled life. I mean that I miss my Louisa desperately, and that I can’t wait to be with her again. I mean that I would like my life to end on a pleasant note. It isn’t much fun being stuck in a hospital, hooked up to machines, having poison pumped into your body until you’re endlessly sick.” When he put it like that, it was difficult not to understand. I wouldn’t want to end my life like that either. “I don’t want to keep on fighting the inevitable. I’ve come to terms with death now. I’m ready to go. I know that Bones and Lotto will struggle, but they’re men now, and I don’t feel like they’re so… alone now.”
