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How would I explain this to them when they would blatantly ask me outright why I’d done this to them? What would I do when they looked at me with sadness in their eyes, demanding me to explain why I’d decided to throw it all away? Each one of them would hate me forever.
I would hate me forever.
As I pulled the car along the street to my house, Ari’s car was in the driveway, which could only mean one thing.
Dad had already contacted her to tell her about my plan. If she already knew, that put a dagger in the works. She would do whatever she could to stop me, maybe even pulling me from the fight beforehand.
Nero was going to fucking kill me.
I stepped toward the door, a mixture of fear and anger coursing through me. I wasn’t expecting to have to immediately face what I was doing, and I was really not in the mood to have to justify myself. Not now, and not to people who weren’t going to want to hear it or understand. It was going to fucking suck.
“Dad?” I called out quietly as I walked through the door. “Dad, are you here?”
But it wasn’t him who came to greet me at the door. It was Ari. And from her tear-stained face, I could already tell I needed to panic. Not only did she know about me and what I had done, it clearly upset the hell out of her, which killed me.
I gulped down a massive ball of emotion, knowing there was no way this was going to end well.
“Where’s my dad?” I asked, needing a distraction, not wanting to face the reasons she was standing in my living room. “I need to talk to him.”
She shook her head sadly, looking like she was about to cry all over again. “He isn’t here. He’s gone.”
Gone?
What the fuck did she mean gone? I scanned her face, trying to find meaning there, trying to work out what was going on. But she stared blankly at me, giving me nothing.
Chapter 35
Ari
“Gone? What the fuck do you mean?” Bones asked, starting to look terrified.
Lotto emerged from his room wearing nothing but gray sweats and sleepy eyes. “What’s going on?” He noticed me, and his eyes widened. “Ari? Why are you here?” He checked the clock on the wall and blinked. “Jesus, it’s late. What’s going on?”
“This is hard to explain. I think we need to go and sit down,” I said.
I went to the kitchen with both of them right behind me, my pulse heavy in my ears. I had just been waiting in the house, trying to work out how to give these two the worst news ever, and I had come up with nothing. How was I supposed to tell them that all their fighting for Cisco had been for nothing, and that they lost anyway?
We all took our seats, and both Bones and Lotto stared at me expectantly, forcing me to begin. “Your dad… He asked me to come here. And he… he asked me to relay a message.” I drew a deep breath and blurted, “He told me that he’s ready to die.”
There was no way to ease into this conversation, but I hated my choice of words. And by the way that both of them flinched, I had come off too harsh.
“Bullshit!” Bones burst out.
“Please don’t get mad at me,” I pleaded. “I’m only the messenger.” When he gave me a small nod, I gave a shaky sigh. “He told me that he’s lived a full life, and that he’s done with fighting this disease. I honestly don’t think that he has any fight left in him.”
“Why would he not tell us this?” Bones asked.
“Where is he?” Lotto was being cold, demanding answers in a monotone voice.
“He’s on a plane,” I admitted, squeezing my fists in fear of how they would react. “He wanted to spend what’s left of his life back home in Mexico.”
“What are you talking about?” Bones jumped up as if he was ready to get on a plane himself.
I rose and gently sat him back down, needing him to remain calm. I stroked his arm for a few moments until I could feel the tension loosening ever so slightly. I had already known this was going to be bad, but I hadn’t been prepared for quite how violently he was going to react.
“Are you telling us he just left. Tonight?” Lotto shook his head in disbelief.
I nodded. “He knew you wouldn’t let him go. Both of you.”
“He’s sick. Really sick!” Bones said, pacing back and forth. “This is insane. He’s not thinking straight.”
“He’s gone to Mexico City, and that’s where he wants to stay,” I continued, feeling the need to communicate Cisco’s feelings as best I could. He had entrusted that in me. “I know that this is hard for you guys to hear, and I’m sure that you aren’t going to like it, but you have to let him go. Cisco wants his life to be remembered in a positive way.” Tears were forming in Bones’ eyes, which could have been out of sadness, frustration, or even rage. But it meant I was getting to him. “He sold off his boxing collection, and financially will be fine. I get the impression that he has been planning this for a while.”
