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“Part of the reason you wanted me back here is to help East with whatever he’s going through, and now you’re pissed at me about it?” I throw my hands up in the air. No matter what I do, I can never win with him, just like I can never win with Dad. “Do you ever think that maybe East doesn’t share with you because he knows you’ll never give a shit about anyone else the way you do Dad?”
Rhett whips his head in my direction, fire blazing in the deep brown eyes that are so much like my own. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do for everyone in this family! Nothing!” he shouts. “I play by the rules, and I’ve done what’s expected of me. I’ve made sacrifices you will never understand, but it’s not enough. It never is. You swing back in town, claiming to want to do the right thing. Do you know that I sat here with Dad last night and all he did was talk about you? And Easton is telling you shit he doesn’t tell me, and Dusty’s all wrapped up in you again, even though it’s going to do nothing but hurt him again.”
My thoughts stumble, words a jumbled mess in my head. Rhett has never said something like that to me, and I’m not sure what to make of it. “East would talk to you if he felt like you were on his side. You’ve spent your whole life trying to be Dad, and he’s the one who has caused us the most pain. Of course that makes it harder to talk to you. And Dad…he talks about you to me, and about me to you, when really, the most important person to him is always himself. I think he likes feeling he has control over us, pitting us against each other.”
Rhett rolls his eyes. “He’s our father. He’s not perfect. God knows none of us are, but he’s not a monster.”
“Then why has he spent the whole time I was here pretending he doesn’t give a fuck about me, only to then talk your ear off about me? Why does he take every moment he can to remind me I’m not as good as you or not doing what you would do? And when is he ever saying anything about East that’s not about how much of a disappointment he is?”
Rhett shoves off the car and starts pacing in front of it. “He’s our dad,” he says again. “He loves us. We’re so fucking lucky. Look around you, Morgan.”
“Money isn’t everything.”
“I know that,” he snaps. “I’ve gotta go. Dad wasn’t feeling too well last night. He had a bad headache, so keep a close eye on him today.”
He goes to the door and pulls it open before I say, “I’m not going to hurt Dusty.” Being back here has reminded me what he is to me, who he is to me. Hurting him feels like cutting out my own heart.
“So you’re going to stay?” Rhett asks.
My mouth opens, but nothing comes out. He knows I can’t stay, I won’t stay, but things will be different this time. I’m not going to walk away from him like I did before. Whatever happens between us, we’ll talk about it and figure out the best way to move forward.
“That’s what I thought.” Rhett gets into his car and peels away, kicking up rocks and dust behind him.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Dusty
I groan the moment I see Mom’s car pull up. News travels fast in Birchbark, and the pizza delivery guy shared that he delivered pizza to Morgan at my shop, and now I’ve already been asked about Morgan four times today. They’re simple questions or statements. It’s so nice that you boys are spending time together again. I bet it’s nice to have Morgan home. You must have missed him!
Mom will be different, though. She will have more to say. She knew Morgan was back, of course, but she didn’t know he was at my shop late last night.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell Easton. He quirks a brow because the man can always tell when something is up, and also likely because I’ve never gone out to sit with Mom the way I’m doing now, but I ignore him and keep going. I get to her car before she gets out and climb into the passenger seat.
“So…how are you?” she asks.
“I’m the same as I always am, and can we not pretend I don’t know exactly why you’re here?”
She pushes her light-brown hair behind her ears. There’s a little bit of gray woven in at the top, lines around her mouth because she’s spent her whole life smiling, even when times are rough. “Morgan was here last night.”
“Yep. I was here as well. We worked on my car.”
“How is he doing?” I love that she asks. No matter what happened between us, my parents have always loved Morgan. He was like a son to them when we were growing up. Mom would even go to his classes for parent-teacher conferences after Allison died. She would do anything for the Swift boys, but she’s also my fiercest protector, so while she loves Morgan, she’s pissed at him too.
“Not great, I don’t think. He tries to act like he is, but I know him better than that. In some ways he’s all the things we knew he would be—successful, professional.”
“Sad,” she adds.
“Not everyone sees that.” I scratch an imaginary itch on my temple. “He’s the same but different too.”
“My heart always broke for that boy. He was so good, and he loved his mama so much. Everything he’s been through is so tragic, and I think it hits him in different ways than it does Rhett, but at the same time, I’m concerned about you. Because no matter how much I love him, you will always be my first priority.”
“Mom…I’m thirty-five years old.”
She cocks a brow. “So? What does that have to do with anything? You’re still my son, and you’ll always be my son, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”
I blow out a breath. “I don’t want to get hurt either. I won’t. I know better. I know what I’m doing.” I don’t, in fact. I’m still trying to wrap my head around Morgan kissing me last night. That he slept in my arms, nuzzling into me and wanting to be surrounded by my scent and heat. Is he like that with Rob? The thought feels like spider legs scurrying around in my brain, so I shut it down quickly.
“Well, love doesn’t always make us see clearly. I’ve known you love that boy before you even understood romantic love or being gay. And if I’m being honest, I believe Morgan loves you the same way. You’re just not afraid of it the way he is. You’ll hold on with all your might while he’ll push it away, telling himself it’s the only way to protect his heart.”
