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This time, he walks away.
This is for the best. You’re better off like this. I try to remind myself. But the ache in my chest doesn’t lessen.
I stop typing nonsense and buckle down to actually get the work done. Angel proofs them, and when she gives me a small smile of approval, I don’t return it.
When I reach Tarek’s office door, I contemplate knocking on the door and then running. I also contemplate sliding them under the door or chucking them through the vent. I must have stayed there contemplating a little too long because a throat clears behind me.
Jumping a little, I whirl around to see Valentina standing there with an eyebrow raised. I silently curse myself for letting her sneak up on me.
“You know, he’s not in right now,” the VP says with her typical calm neutrality,
Heat rushes to my cheek in embarrassment. “Oh. Where’d he go?”
“Golfing with a few business partners, I believe.”
My embarrassment turns to white-hot anger. Golfing? He’s going golfing. Well, he can’t be too concerned about the state of his company if he’s out, doing the most asshole rich guy thing he could do.
It takes everything in me to keep the rage out of my voice. “I guess I’ll hand them to him later.”
“I could give them to him if you like,” Valentina offers.
Relief and irritation run through me all at once. On the one hand, I’m grateful I won’t have to see him. On the other hand, I kind of wanted a chance to yell at him.
I hand over the folder. “Thanks.”
Valentina nods and then continues on her way. I’m almost back to my cubicle when Amber walks up next to me. “Hey there, stuck working through lunch, too?”
I huff. “Unfortunately, my problems are entirely self-inflicted. Though I guess it doesn’t really matter what I do since the boss isn’t even here. No, he’s out golfing with the rest of his rich buddies.”
Amber crinkles her nose. “Are you kidding me? Again?”
I furrow my brow. “What do you mean, again?”
She shakes her head. “I mean he’s been out almost every afternoon this week out golfing or taking his business partners out to lunch. I’ve been trying to get in to see him for three days now and he’s never there.”
I grit my teeth. Maybe it makes me a terrible person, but it feels unfair that he isn’t as miserable as I am right now.
Amber nudges me. “I say we go out and get food anyway. Forget about all the work due today.”
I shake my head. Amber is a good friend, but I can’t trust her either. “No, I’m good.”
And then I walk away before she can argue. It’ll only make it hurt more.
I get back to my cubicle, my head spinning. At the root of it, I know it only hurts because I still love Tarek. Despite everything that’s happened, I can’t make it stop.
Being with him felt like I’d found a long-lost part of myself. A happier person. A person who loved and had friends. Someone who wasn’t just the Cyber Thief.
Even now, I just want to be held by him again. To kiss him and let everything be right again. I want to be angry with them all for breaking that illusion, but instead, I just feel like I want to run. Leave it all behind and never look back.
Suddenly the anger drains away and is replaced with a bone-deep sadness that settles over me like a heavy blanket.
It’s been a while since I’ve contemplated running, but maybe I should. What am I even doing here at this point, really?
Realizing that, I’m now stuck between a rock and a hard place. Do I help Tarek and his company or run and keep running for the rest of my life?
My heart and my mind rage against one another, but the answer never becomes clearer.
CHAPTER 27
