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Sloane
The world feels like it’s crashing down all around me. I thought everything was finally coming together.
Now I remember why I’ve always been better off on my own. Because when things get hard, people always disappoint you. It doesn’t matter what kind of promises they’ve made or how friendly they are with you, the moment something goes wrong, their true colors show.
My gut twists as I realize I have only myself to blame for being in this whole mess in the first place. Not just the getting caught part, no, but the getting close to people. Putting myself out there and being vulnerable.
I groan and run a hand through my hair, not caring that it completely messes it up. So what? If Tarek was going to fire me, it would be for way bigger reasons than unkempt hair. If I have to, I’ll just fix it up before I leave my cubicle.
Actually, every day I’m here at the office since our argument, I’m surprised the police haven’t been called to haul me away.
“Maybe I know too much about him to risk being taken away,” I mutter bitterly to myself.
I stare blankly at the reports that were supposed to be done twenty minutes ago and scowl at them. For once, it’s not the fact that I think this is completely dumb and a waste of my time that’s making me procrastinate. It’s that these reports have to go to Tarek.
After that day, I’ve done my best to avoid him, and I can tell he’s doing the same. Ironically enough, going to this stupid job is the only thing that’s really been keeping me sane since our argument.
I’d coerce one of my colleagues into giving them to him for me, except I’ve been avoiding them, too.
Someone got wind of our plan, and it had to be someone in this office. But since I already crossed off everyone on the list, it means I was wrong about someone. Which also means I’ve probably let myself get close to someone who’s actively betraying me.
It’s just another twist of the knife. Not only did I let myself fall for someone, but I let myself be blindsided because I wanted to make friends.
“It’s your own fault,” I remind myself. Over and over again, I let the words echo in my mind until they resonate within my very being.
It’s your own fault.
If only I’d stayed focused like I was supposed to. If only I’d never let myself be charmed by Tarek. If only I hadn’t chased that need for companionship.
If only, if only.
But that’s not how it happened and here I am. This is what I get.
There’s a knock on my cubicle wall, and I turn to see Lewis standing there. “Hey, a bunch of us are going out for lunch today. Do you want to come?”
Keeping my face blank, I shake my head. “No, thanks. I’m behind on some work, and I need to finish.”
I turn away and start typing, though mostly I’m just pressing random keys to look busy. But from the corner of my eye, I see Lewis linger. He hesitates a few times before finally speaking. “Are you okay?”
I give him a tight smile. “Of course I am.”
He frowns. “Are you sure?”
My eyes narrow. “Yes.”
“You mean even though you haven’t come to eat with us in days?”
“I said that I’m fine. I just don’t feel like being around anyone right now.” Or ever is what I leave out.
The vampire’s look softens just a bit. “I know what it’s like better than anyone to want to be alone. But if something’s wrong, for me, I’ve found that having your friends there to back you up is better than anything.”
My heart clenches with guilt and for a second, I want to accept and just go to lunch and laugh with my friends and forget everything else. I want to accept that he really cares.
But Tarek said he cared about me. He said a lot of beautiful things to me, and none of them turned out to be true.
And for all I know, Lewis is the spy and is only saying all these things to lure me into a trap. I can’t trust him or anyone in this office.
So I turn away from him. “Like I said, I’m fine.”
