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But despite my best efforts to push aside my fears, they linger like shadows in the corners of my mind, the weight of responsibility settling heavily on my shoulders.
With a heavy sigh, I stand up and return to Lisa’s sleeping room. She looks so peaceful and serene, her face bathed in the soft glow of the moonlight filtering through the curtains. I can’t help but feel a surge of love for her, a fierce protectiveness that threatens to consume me.
Climbing into bed beside her, I wrap my arms around her slender form, pulling her close to me. She stirs slightly in her sleep, nestling closer to me with a contented sigh. For a moment, the warmth of her body against mine and the steady rhythm of her breathing helps to chase away my fears.
But as I lie there, holding her in my arms, the weight of my emotions presses down on me like a suffocating blanket. I close my eyes and try to focus on the here and now and the woman I love more than anything.
But try as I might, I can’t shake the feeling of dread gnawing at the edges of my consciousness. Tomorrow will be a day filled with uncertainty when everything could change. And as much as I try to reassure myself that everything will be fine, that we’ll come out of this unscathed, I can’t shake the feeling of impending doom.
I bury my face in the crook of Lisa’s neck, inhaling the sweet scent of her hair and feeling the warmth of her skin. She stirs again, this time more awake, and she turns to face me, her eyes blinking sleepily in the darkness.
“Frank?” she murmurs, her voice soft and sleepy.
I swallow hard, trying to force down the lump in my throat. “It’s nothing, sweetheart,” I say, my voice barely above a whisper. “Just go back to sleep.”
But even as I speak the words, I know they’re a lie. The turmoil within me rages on, a storm that shows no signs of abating. As I hold Lisa in my arms, I can’t help but wonder what tomorrow will bring and whether we’ll emerge from it unscathed.
But for now, all I can do is hold her close and pray that we’ll find the strength to weather whatever storms lie ahead.
Chapter 17
Lisa
Alone in the cramped hotel room, the silence feels suffocating after Frank’s departure. The weight of our dangerous plan bears down on me like a crushing weight, and my heart still races from our conversation. I try to shake it off and head to the bathroom to prepare, even though it’s way too early.
As I stand in front of the bathroom sink, toothbrush in hand, staring at my reflection in the mirror, I squeeze a dollop of toothpaste onto the bristles and brush, trying to focus on the simple task. But as I scrub my teeth, a wave of nausea hits me like a ton of bricks, causing my stomach to churn and twist with discomfort.
I freeze, toothbrush hanging limply from my mouth, and struggle to keep my breakfast down. Panic bubbles within me, a sense of unease gnawing at the edges of my consciousness. This isn’t normal. I shouldn’t be feeling like this.
With a shaky exhale, I spit out the toothpaste and rinse my mouth, my hands trembling as I grip the edge of the sink. Could it be possible? Could I be pregnant?
The thought sends a shiver down my spine, my mind racing with a million possibilities. I’m not ready to be a mother, not now. But as I stand there, my stomach roiling with uncertainty, I can no longer ignore the possibility.
I rush to my bag in the hotel room and retrieve a pregnancy test kit, my hands trembling as I tear open the packaging. I follow the instructions carefully, my heart pounding as I await the results.
Minutes tick by like hours, and my mind is a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Fear and uncertainty war with a desperate hope that the test will come back negative, that I’ll be spared the burden of an unwanted pregnancy.
Finally, the timer beeps, signaling it’s time to check the results. With trembling hands, I pick up the test stick and peer at the tiny window, my heart in my throat as I await the verdict.
And then, there are two pink lines, stark against the white background, unmistakable in their meaning. I’m pregnant.
“No. No. No.”
A sob escapes my lips and tears stream down my cheeks as I sink to the floor, struggling to come to terms with the reality of my situation. I’m pregnant with Frank’s child, and everything has changed instantly.
How can I bring a child into a world filled with violence and uncertainty? How can I protect a child from the dangers that lurk in the shadows? I am literally about to blow up a funeral. Is this the kind of life I want to bring my child into?
No. I can’t think about this now. I have to focus on the task at hand. And who knows, amid my fear and uncertainty, maybe there’s a glimmer of hope, a tiny spark of light that will not be extinguished. I may not have planned for this, and I may not have been ready for the responsibility of motherhood, but deep down, I want to do a good job. And that includes doing whatever it takes to keep my child safe.
With a shaky exhale, I rise to my feet, determination shining in my eyes. I may be scared, but I’m not alone. I have Frank by my side, and together, we’ll face whatever challenges come our way. Unless . . . unless he wants me to get rid of it.
Oh my God. This is bad.
I let out a sigh and step out of the bathroom, half-naked. I reach for the remote control and flick on the television, hoping for a distraction. But what I see on the screen sends a shiver down my spine. In vivid detail, there is footage of Frank and me in our most intimate moment, broadcast for the world to see. The very first time we made love. My stomach churns with dread as I realize the implications of this breach of privacy—it’s a direct threat to our safety, a betrayal that could cost us everything. Who released the video? How did they get it?
A tornado of thoughts again plagues my mind, but I can’t afford to dwell on the implications now. I know what I must do. Pulling myself together, I slip on the black gown I’ve prepared and a matching scarf to conceal the distinctive color of my hair. Then, I don a pair of dark sunglasses to shield my identity. Every nerve in my body screams with fear and anticipation as I prepare to carry out our deadly mission.
As I walk the hotel corridor, I can’t shake the unease eating away at my insides. The severity of the mission has me on edge. My nerves are frayed, and my senses are heightened. I glance around, my eyes darting from side to side as if searching for some unseen threat lurking in the shadows.
