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Well, I wanted to want to. And that was close enough. Maybe I could will myself to be better.

“You’re amazing.” Her sniffle came through the line. “I’m so lucky to have you.”

I tried to respond, but I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t tell her the truth. Couldn’t let anyone see how broken I was.

“Thank you.” She sniffled again. “Alright, I’m going to let you get back to your morning before you make me cry again.”

“We’ll talk soon,” I promised, but I didn’t know if it was true.

My phone clicked on the counter as I set it down. My stomach twisted. I tried to think about anything else, but there was nothing to do but stare at the penthouse I lived in. All the expensive furniture that not even a speck of dust dared to touch. The fancy artwork on the walls that depicted battle scenes. All of it a presentation Mitchell used to intimidate.

I hated this apartment. I hated the glass panels around the stairs. The sweeping views of the cold city. The fucking tile floor. The whole place was cold and pretentious. Made of glass and lies.

Most of all, I hated the memories. The pain that kept me trapped here. Every inch of this house was covered in my blood. Held my screams. It was a cage, and I couldn’t spend another day inside it.

It took six years trapped in a marriage and one living in my grief, but I finally snapped.

I ignored the beeping, telling me the coffee was ready. My spine was straight but brittle as I stomped down the hall. I’d tried to leave this place a hundred times when Mitchell had been alive.

He’d tricked me with this house. With his money and fake charm. He fooled me. Preyed on a lonely girl with no family who was desperate to be loved. I wouldn’t let myself be fooled again.

I stayed with him because if he could hurt me like that when we were married; I knew he’d never let me leave. He couldn’t let me live, not when I held his secrets.

But he was gone.

The door handle felt cool on my skin, like my body was overheated. My heart tapped an unsteady rhythm as I stood there. My stomach tightened in fear.

I didn’t want to be afraid anymore. I didn’t want to be haunted by dreams of a baby. I didn’t want to be frozen. I wanted to be free.

And I had a plan. I had money. Only one thing had been stopping me. One person who I feared more than my dead husband. One man who could crush what little I had.

When I examined my motives, I knew they were skewed. I knew it was selfish to want a child just, so I had someone to care for. Someone to give all the love that had been building inside me for a lifetime.

Loving them didn’t guarantee they’d love me. They’d probably grow up and hate me for not giving them a father. I knew all this.

But I couldn’t stop the burning ache in my chest that told me I was destined to be a mother. To give a child the one thing I’d never had, a safe place.

4

Grace

With that wish fueling me, I knocked on the door. I summoned what little strength I had. Clung to my dreams. To the image of a baby that lived in my mind.

“Come in.” My brother-in-law’s voice carried through the wood.

I knew he’d be here, even at this hour. Opening the door, I was surprised to see the other three men. The sun was barely up, but I suppose crime didn’t care about the hour.

My nerves tripled as I realized I’d have to do this in front of all of them. I told myself it was better. That one of them might still have a soul and grant my request.

Vander’s eyes immediately went to me. Their green color seemed deeper in the low light as they swept down and up my body like they did every time I was in his presence. Always seeing. Assessing. I resisted the urge to squirm.

It wasn’t just his eyes that felt like a threat. It was all of him. His broad shoulders straining against the black shirt he wore. The muscles rippling in his biceps. The dark hair that fell over his forehead, hiding some of his venomous expression. And the tattoos peeking from the collar of his shirt and cuffs. He even had one on his hand.

He was every monster that you feared at night. Every rumor that made you check your locks twice. Every worry that had you flicking on the lights.

Having him sitting behind the desk that had once belonged to Mitchell did nothing to soothe my frayed nerves.

“What do you need, Grace?” Goosebumps broke out on my skin as he said my name. His voice was crisp, like I was bothering him. And it only cemented my decision.

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