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I shivered as he licked a bead of sweat dripping down my neck. My clothes and hair clung to my damp skin. His equally damp chest rise and fall under my cheek as I sucked in ragged breaths.
How did I feel?
I felt tired. Bone deep exhausted. Exhaustion that came after you had exerted all the energy from your body.
I felt used. Fucked so hard I couldn’t move if I wanted to. Fucked in a way that told me I’d feel the ache and burn in my muscles. Between my legs for days to come.
I felt…happy. Euphoric. The only time I had been happier was when I saw those two pink lines on the test. But even Mitchell had tainted that. My first husband. No, my ex-husband. That wasn’t right, either.
My dead husband. Deceased and not missed.
“Happy.” I pressed my lips to his chest, above his heart. It skipped a beat beneath my touch. I savored the moment, hoping he felt even an ounce of what I did.
Because I had the sinking feeling that I was falling for him. That I was in love with my husband. The man who’d been rude. No, an asshole to me for years. The one who forced this marriage.
He’d also been… caring. Kind. Understanding.
Despite everything, I think I loved him.
My chest tightened as my heart jumped around inside it. Panic gripped my stomach. I had so many fears about loving him.
What if he became like his brother? Mitchell had been charming until we said our vows. I couldn’t have predicted the devil he was.
And what if Vander ended up just like Mitchell? Not mean, but dead. Murdered.
My throat closed, and my eyes stung. I already knew I wouldn’t be able to survive it. I was becoming too attached to him. It would destroy me if he died. And he wouldn’t be here to pull me from the edge this time.
Maybe it would be better if I shoved my feelings down. If I ignored them. Pretended they weren’t real. I was good at pretending.
I pushed to get off his chest. To hide. From him and how he made me feel. From myself. But he clamped his hands down on my back, keeping me in place.
“Where are you going, Sunflower?” He softened his touch, trailing his finger down my spine through the lace of my clothes. I melted into his embrace. Absorbing the comfort he provided.
“T-to clean up,” I said, even as my eyes closed in bliss. The adrenaline from my panic was wearing off, making me tired again.
“No.” His harsh tone had me looking up at him.
“No?” I raised a brow in question.
“We’re sleeping just like this.” He grabbed my ass and jerked his hips, showing me he was still buried inside me. I blushed, and a moan wanted to escape my lips.
“Why?” I shook my head. “I need to clean up. I can’t sleep like this.”
“You’re not washing away my cum.” He pushed my head back down to his chest. “We’re going to get you good and pregnant. I’m going to stay deep inside you all night, so not a single drop leaves that pretty pussy.”
Oh, my god! Why was that hot? That shouldn’t be sexy. It should be…gross. Except it wasn’t. It was possessive and wrong. And I didn’t care.
He growled as my core clenched around him. Yeah, he knew how I felt about that. Vander wanting me pregnant as much as I wanted a baby was overwhelming.
It wasn’t about an heir. It was about us. Me and him. About making a tiny human together. Someone to love and care for. Or it was for me, anyway. I wasn’t sure why he was doing it.
“What would you have done with the kids if I had gone to a clinic?” My voice was quiet as I traced the tattoos on his chest.
“What do you mean?” I rested my head on my hand so I could see his face. He propped himself on the pillows and stared back at me. His hands trailed through my hair like he couldn’t stand not touching me.
“I mean, they wouldn’t have been yours.”
“What’s yours is mine, Sunflower. And what’s mine is yours. If they came from you, then they’re mine to take care of.”
