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Things changed when he died. No, I couldn’t love her out loud. But I also couldn’t let her suffer alone. At first, I moved in so someone could care for her after the attack and miscarriage. Then, I never left.
I stepped right into my brother’s life. Leader of our family. Playing partner to his wife. I was fucking sick.
I must be a masochist because I wanted to be near her. As much as it killed me. I wanted it all. Every whiff of her rose-scented hair. Every small smile. Every sparkle in her royal blue eyes.
It cut into me. A thousand tiny cuts directly on my heart. Until she was carved into it. But I couldn’t make myself go. I needed her near to live. To breathe.
And now she begged to leave. How could I deny her the only thing she’d ever asked of me? Her chance to be a mother.
She wanted kids. Of course she did. She’d be an amazing mother. Not distant and absent like mine.
When she’d said those words, all I could picture was her stomach round with my baby. My hand rubbing along her skin. My lips kissing her baby bump.
Mine.
“Seems like things are looking up.” My gaze cut to Cole. My jaw so tight it felt like it would snap.
“What?” The word escaped my clenched teeth. “How is Grace leaving a good thing?”
Cole tilted his head, his brow raising as he smirked at me. “Who cares about Grace? I’m talking about an alliance with The Gallos.”
“It would bring in a great deal of money if they’re willing to allow us to take escorts into their territory,” Nathan spoke as he tapped away on his tablet. Adding and subtracting numbers because that was all he ever focused on.
“I thought you’d be happy to get rid of her,” Angelo said from his dark corner. “I mean, it’s been over a year. It’s weird she’s not gone already.”
Right, because she had money. She had everything she needed to leave and start again. It had been me convincing her she was still a part of the family. Telling her we needed to protect her. When the truth was, I couldn’t let her go.
I couldn’t have her. I wouldn’t disrespect my brother’s memory. But I needed her close. Needed her safe. And single.
The idea of anyone else touching her filled me with such a jealous rage my blood boiled. I felt my skin piercing from the tightness of my fists. I was seconds away from losing it, and I couldn’t let anyone see. Couldn’t let them know.
“We’ll talk about it later,” I spoke with a calm I didn’t feel. “Now, don’t you assholes have work to do?”
“Sure, Boss.” Cole chuckled as he stood.
“There was one more thing I wanted to discuss.” Nathan sat straighter. “Yesterday, I noticed—.”
“Not now!” Nathan blinked as the shout exploded from my chest. Without my permission, my hand moved, and I plunged the knife into the dark wood of my desk.
I never spoke to them like that. They were my cousins in name, but my brothers in truth. But I couldn’t contain this tornado of emotions inside me.
“Let’s go.” Cole yanked him from the chair, practically dragging him towards the exit.
He looked back, confused. “I don’t understand—.”
Angelo shut the door, cutting off his words. Then, I was left alone with nothing but my thoughts. My betrayal and guilt.
My eyes flicked to the photo on the desk, the one I’d never been able to get rid of. Grace and Mitchell on their wedding day. She was so goddamn beautiful I ached when I looked at it.
I worked hard to keep my eyes from falling to my brother. To the smile on his face as he wrapped a protective arm around her waist. She’d been young, only twenty.
I’d tried to use her age to convince him to find someone else. He was five years older. But the lie had always tasted bitter on my tongue. I was ten years older than her and craved her so deeply most days it was a struggle to breathe.
Now, I was thirty-six and no closer to having that. A wife. Kids. Someone to love.
I’d wanted kids when I first saw her, but I gave up that dream when she married. No one would ever be her. I wouldn’t put another woman through the torture of always being second.
The picture was cool in my hands as I picked it up. Glass shattered on the carpet as I threw it across the room. She was just as out of reach to me now as she was back then.
