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My answer seemed to placate them because they turned to each other, ignoring my protest.
“That new group in town is looking for who’s weak,” Nathan spoke clinically like it wasn’t my life in the balance. “This is a chance to strengthen our position.”
“Aaron won’t be easy to take down on our own.” Angelo rubbed his beard absentmindedly. “The Gallos could help with the right deal in place.”
He had a stronger motive to secure an alliance. He and his new wife had a violent encounter with the group they were discussing. As much as I loved Isla, my life wasn’t up for trade.
My teeth ground together as Vander glared at his cousins. He showed no more interest in the idea than I did. As I watched his eyes narrow and the knife twist in the air, I saw the monster Mitchell had always warned me about.
Naturally, I’d fear Angelo with his scars and quiet, rage-filled demeanor. But over time, my fear had shifted. Listening to Mitchell’s stories about his brother. Having Vander look straight through me with cold, dead eyes. I came to fear him the most.
I watched their silent communication and thought about what I wanted. A child. Second only was my desire to leave this ‘family.’ Marrying someone would give me both things. Yes, they would be a criminal.
But I’d survived a monster once. I could do it again.
5
Vander
“Fine.”
My heart stopped beating at that one word. My eyes fixated on the twirling knife, so they didn’t go where they shouldn’t. To the woman standing in front of me. Who was as forbidden as one could get.
She was ten years my junior. I was too old for her.
She was sweet and kind. I was a monster.
And most importantly, she was my brother’s widow.
Reluctantly, my gaze pulled to Grace. My eyes roamed her features like they’d done a million times against my will.
She was just as beautiful now as she’d been when I’d seen her across the crowded ballroom seven years ago. Even more so. Or maybe it was a lifetime of pent-up desire that seemed to make her blue eyes shine brighter. Or her full lips seem pinker.
She had a freckle on the bow of her lip. Just a slight discoloration from the perfect pink. I’d been crazy about that freckle since the first night I saw her. Obsessed with placing my lips right there.
It was just my luck that I’d fallen in love with someone out of my reach. The one girl I could never have. But it was too late.
I’d tried to shove her away. Tried to show her the darkness so she wouldn’t come close. But I was forced to be near her, and with each year, I fell a little harder. Lost myself in the forbidden.
I fell in love with her twinkling laughter. With her need to stay busy. She was always searching for a new craft. Crocheting or knitting. Drawing or painting. Embroidery or paper flowers. None of them had ever stuck, unlike my love for her.
I’d fallen for her quiet poise. With the way, she could sense a shift in the air. The way her presence could calm down the demons that lived in all of us.
And her strength. The way she held herself tall in a room of criminals. She didn’t flinch or shy away. Didn’t backtrack on her request. Men had run from my gaze, but this woman held strong.
“Fine?” I choked out the word, trying to hide the storm of emotions inside me.
“I’ll meet them. If one is … tolerable, I’ll do it.” With that, she turned on her heel and left the room.
I tried and failed not to watch her round ass as it swayed. How many hours had I spent watching her walk away? Staring at her curves and wishing I had her permission to touch them.
I was fucking scum. In a room full of murderers, I was the goddamn worst one. I was in love with my sister-in-law.
Fuck!
It was the absolute worst betrayal. I’d loved my brother. I’d done my best to protect him from our uncle. From the torture he had put us all through.
So when I realized who Grace was, I buried my feelings. Over the years, my heart turned to stone as I continued to ignore what I felt. I shut her out; became cruel, so I didn’t have to face my betrayal. I didn’t covet his position, but I had coveted his wife.
