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She recovers quickly, her face lighting up with a smile before she hops up, leaving Pike and the book behind to run to me. She flings herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. I pull her close, breathing her in like a breath of fresh air.
Pike joins us a minute later, and I reluctantly let her go. The second her feet hit the ground, he licks her before nuzzling into her almost violently. She staggers back a step as she scratches him behind the ear and laughs when his tongue flops out of his mouth in bliss. He shifts back, pulls her close, and kisses her cheek once, twice, three times, and just like that, my mood sours again.
Serena is close with all of us, and affection is nothing new, but it seems everyone else is going to some new level that I can’t get to.
“I’m going to go train with the others for a few while you guys nerd out. I’ll see you at dinner,” he says, pressing his lips to her forehead one last time before he shifts back and takes off the way I just came.
Serena stands there for a moment, watching him go, and I see the light blush on her cheeks. Her face always gives her away.
“Shall we?”
Her question startles me, and I quickly avert my eyes to the tree, embarrassed to be caught staring.
“Yeah, lead the way,” I tell her, gesturing for her to go first.
I expect her to go, giving me a moment to get myself together… again. Instead, she reaches out and grabs my hand, yanking me down one of the many aisles with a laugh that makes my heart race.
We pour over book after book the same way we always do. The queen has been over most everything here, except two sections. We finished combing over the last of one of them a few days ago and came up mostly empty. Aside from the rare mention of Salona, there’s nothing in any of these books that we don’t already know.
Minutes turn to hours, and as time continues to tick by with more nothing, I see her happiness melting away. It’s frustrating enough that we aren’t finding anything, but seeing it affect her like this is even worse, knowing I can’t help. Books are my thing, always have been. I’m not a prince, or a big cuddly wolf, hell, I’m not her mate either. I’m just me, and it’s not enough.
Groaning in annoyance, I snap the book I’d been reading closed, startling Serena.
“Sorry,” I mumble, moving the book to the discard pile before getting up to grab a new one. I need a second to get my temper under control. We’re all doing the best we can to help her. I know we will figure this out, we have to, there isn’t another option. I just need to keep myself together, at least in front of Serena.
“Sol,” Serena calls after me as I go, but I don’t stop. I can’t right now. I don’t want her to see me like this and upset her more.
I don’t want her to see how utterly useless I am.
Fuck, when did I become so pathetic?
I hear her footsteps as she follows after me, and I panic, turning this way and that down random aisles in the hopes she’ll just go back and wait for me by the tree. I feel terrible about it, but the alternative is worse.
I can’t be the reason she gives up.
“Sol!” Serena calls from close behind me, and I curse her stubborn nature before making a few more quick turns until her footsteps begin to fade.
It’s not until I’ve turned at least half a dozen times that I realize my mistake. In my haste to keep my problems my own, I just added a new one to the list.
I have no idea where I am.
Who’s bright idea was it to make every single aisle look the same in a library of this size?
This place is just as much a maze if you ask me.
With a sigh of annoyance, I lean on the shelf to my right, letting my head thump against it. I wanted to be alone, it looks like I got my wish.
“Hey.” A hand wraps around my bicep, squeezing gently, and I damn near jump out of my skin. It takes my brain a second to process it’s Serena.
Not that it could be anyone else; as far as I know, it’s only the two of us here.
“What’s wrong?”
I don’t look at her, but I don’t need to. I can hear the concern in her voice. The way she almost pleads with me to tell her makes me feel like even more of an ass than I already did.
With a deep breath, I turn to face her, ready to lie, to tell her I’m fine or play it off like a joke, but the second I see her, I can’t make the words leave my lips. She looks up at me, her eyes full of concern and a mix of other emotions I can’t put my finger on.
My mouth has a mind of its own. “I’m not a prince. I’m not your mate or a big wolf you can cuddle up with. Hell, I’m not even able to keep you safe. The only thing I’m good for doesn’t apply here because I’m just as clueless as everyone else, and no matter how much time we spend in this library, we aren’t any closer to answers.”
