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Her face scrunches up in confusion, but now that I’ve started, it’s like a dam broke inside me, and I can’t stop.
“I’ve never been like them. I’ve always been different, but I didn’t need to be like them because you liked me just the way I was. I didn’t need to be more, but I wanted to be, for you.”
Her hand’s still wrapped around my arm as I step toward her, close enough that she has to crane her head back to meet my eyes. I try to refrain from reaching for her, but I can’t help it. She has a pull on me that I don’t understand, but I don’t need to. She’s the one thing in my life that I don’t question, she doesn’t need to make sense, she only needs to be here with me because, without her, nothing else is right.
“From the day we found you, you’ve changed everything. You made us better over and over again. You’ve gone to bat for me and the rest of us countless times, and you don’t even see the good you do for us. Without you, we would be lost. Hell, we were when you disappeared, and that was only for a few hours,” I chuckle, shaking my head at the memory. It sounds corny, but it’s true, and I need her to understand.
Slowly, I reach up, giving her the chance to move away if she wants to. She doesn’t, so I cup her cheek in my hand and gently trail my thumb along her cheekbone. I watch her in wonder as her eyes flutter closed, and she leans into my touch.
Maybe it’s not just Pike and the others; maybe it’s all of us, and I’ve been the one too afraid to have things change.
Only one way to find out.
“I love you, Serena.”
Her eyes snap open again, but I push on before she has a chance to say anything, before I lose my nerve. It’s now or never, and I’m not sure I could forgive myself if I missed a chance to see if we could be more.
“I’ve loved you since the night we found you. I didn’t realize it at first. You were my best friend, and I thought that was all it was for a long time, but that was never the case. By the time I realized it, I was afraid. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I tried, Carrots, I even went to Storm and Pike for help. I hoped it was because you were always there, you were familiar. I thought maybe I could get over you by meeting new people, but that’s easier said than done. None of them were you, which is what I thought I wanted. In the end, I didn’t even give them a fair shot because, no matter what I thought I wanted, I was wrong. I’ve only ever needed you.”
The silence feels deafening when I finally stop talking, and I swallow down my panic. I’d wanted to get it all out there, and for the most part, I did. Even if it wasn’t the most well-thought-out thing, at least I said it. I’ve never been great at expressing myself, which is why I stuck to my books. It’s one of the many things Storm and I have in common, except he hides behind violence and resting bitch face, or at least he used to.
Serena blinks up at me but doesn’t say anything, and for once, I can’t read the look on her face. Is her smile because she feels bad for me? Is it pity I see in her eyes?
Fuck, I can’t do this.
“I-I’m sorry… I.” I don’t know what to say, but I know I need to leave before this gets any worse. If it can get worse, that is.
I stumble back a step, jerking my thumb over my shoulder. “I’ll just…” I choke on the words I’m trying to say, unsure what to do or say now that I’ve put it out there. I can’t take it back, and I’m not sure I would want to if I could. Looking around, I try to think of something to say, somewhere to go, unable to meet her eyes now.
“Sol.” I freeze at the sound of my name. I keep my eyes down, unable to face her. It doesn’t do much good with her being so small, though; she steps up so close that we’re nearly chest to chest and can look up at me even with my head tucked to my chest.
My back hits the shelf behind me as I try once again to escape, and I grit my teeth against the urge to laugh at the situation I got myself into.
“Hey, Sol, look at me. Please.” I didn’t even realize I’d closed my eyes, but I open them when I hear the pleading tone of her voice.
I could never deny her, not even now when I would love nothing more than for the ground to swallow me whole.
“That’s better.” She smiles at me, and my breath catches as she gets impossibly closer. How is it possible that someone her size can feel larger than life?
"I don’t need you to be a prince or a wolf, and I sure as hell don’t need another protector. All I’ve ever needed you to be was my friend. I was alone, and you all gave me something I didn’t even know was missing from my life. You gave me a place to belong, a family not by blood but by choice. You’re more than enough, Sol, just the way you are. I don’t need you to have all the answers. None of us know what will happen tomorrow, and that’s okay so long as we’re together.”
Her fingers gently pry at mine, loosening the tight fist I have them curled into. She threads our fingers together and gives my hand a gentle squeeze. It takes me a second to realize what she’s doing, but when I do, I can’t stop the smile that pulls at my lips as I squeeze hers in return.
I started it to check in with her when we were younger, but I’ve never had her do it to me. Something about it feels special. This is something that’s just ours.
"I don’t want you to be anyone but you, Sol, and I don’t need a mate bond to love you.”
I hear her words, but they can’t be right.
There’s no way she just said that.
"Wait, what?” I ask, and she chuckles before shaking her head and rolling her eyes.
Before I can say anything else, she presses up on her tiptoes. I go cross-eyed as she continues closer and closer until her lips meet mine.
Holy shit!
My mind goes into overdrive, and I don’t know what to do with my hands or my eyes, and before I can figure it out, she moves to pull away.
