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We’ll figure out what to do. Together, the same way we always do.
Earlier…
Dinner was a shit show, even more so than it usually was, which I didn’t think was possible.
I’ve never been welcome there. Pike’s family has never made an attempt to hide how they feel about me. His siblings aren’t so bad; they tend to act like I don’t exist, which is preferred given that alternative. I only go because Pike needs his pack…
A pack he no longer has because of me.
The moment Blair released me, I made a break for it, running up to the library in desperate need of a minute to breathe, think, and just process. I slam the door behind me and flip the lock, pressing my back against it before sliding down to sit on the floor. I feel exhausted, not just like I need sleep, which I do, but mentally and physically worn.
So much has been going on lately. It feels like every time I turn around, something is going wrong or sideways, and I can’t help but feel like it all roots back to me.
I’m who Garrett has been looking for, and as crazy as his story sounds, I can’t help but feel it’s true deep in my bones.
I’m the reason the guys are so on edge. Some part of me can’t seem to stay away from Garrett, no matter how much they might not like him. In the past, if someone gave them a strange vibe, I had no issues turning in the other direction. They’re my best friends. I trust them with my life, and I know they just want to keep me safe. This is different, though. It’s as if Garrett has his own gravitational pull, and now that I’ve been sucked into it, I’m not sure I’ll ever get out, or if I even want to.
I’m the reason Storm and Sol are hardly talking. They’ve been at odds and distant ever since Storm accidentally started the mating bond with me. Gods, I don’t even want to think about that.
Poor Storm. He might be stuck with me as a mate, all because of a heated moment in the library.
He said he loved me, and I want so badly to believe him, but feelings change. I’ve seen them go through girls in the past. Just because he wants me now doesn’t mean he wants to tie himself to me forever.
I let my head slam back against the door. The dull ache in my head clears it for a moment, but it doesn’t last.
Raised voices from downstairs filter through the floor. It would be so easy to listen in and hear exactly what they’re talking about. One of the few advantages of my beast is my hearing. It’s better than even theirs with their alpha status.
I don’t want to hear it, though. I don’t even want to be inside my head right now, let alone hear what they might be thinking.
I pull my knees up to my chest and let my head fall to my knees, covering my ears in an attempt to drown it out, if only for a moment.
It’s no use, though.
Even with my ears covered, I can still pick out their voices. Pike’s sticks out, and with it, the guilt returns.
He stepped down from his pack tonight and gave up his future claim as the alpha. Pike might not get along with his parents, but his pack has always been really important to him. He’s always been a part of it, working to keep up his family business. He had ideas on how to change things. He wanted to do better for them.
And because of me, he gave it all up.
As if that’s not all bad enough, he’s a wolf. His beast needs a pack. A group of friends isn’t enough, no matter how much we might wish it were.
“Fuck!” I hiss, letting my head hit the door again. It's probably not the healthiest way to deal with things, but whatever.
I comb my fingers through my hair anxiously, listening for a moment. Their voices are quiet now, but it does nothing to hide that they’re in the middle of a heated conversation. Thankfully, it’s easy enough to tune out. Slowly, I stand, pull open the door, and sneak down the hall to my room to change into something more comfortable and grab my books. I have homework to do, and right now, that sounds like the perfect distraction.
I sit with my earbuds at max volume as I go through my notes. I’d built a fire in the little fireplace and curled up on the plush carpet with my books spread all around me.
I have no idea how long I’ve been up here, and I don’t plan to check, unwilling to look at my phone right now. I know the guys are still here. Because of my beast's hearing, I can hear them moving around, even over my blasting music. But they haven’t come up yet, and for now, I’m going to take every moment of calm I can get. Who knows when the next thing is going to explode in my face.
Every once in a while, the fire catches my attention, and I find myself getting lost in it. I’m not afraid of fire like this, only when it’s wielded like a weapon. Even still, I keep my distance. But every time I look at it, my brain wanders to Blair.
I’d never questioned the fact that none of the guys wielded fire. Looking at it now, I can see how strange that would be. They all wield different elements, but for some reason, him hiding his fire behind his secondary element had never occurred to me.
Every time I think about it, I feel sick. I know why he said he did it, but he shouldn’t have had to. If I had been stronger, he could have been himself.
Movement from the corner of my eye has me turning before I can rationalize the fact that nobody should be here. I would have heard them.
What the hell?
