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I did as he asked and then relaxed back into his hold, grasping his scarred forearm and stroking the skin there. We shared donut after donut as I told him about working at Ari’s and rooming with Liem for the week before venturing on to the Halloween episodes Vinh and I still had left to watch before finally circling back to my time with Jeanne this afternoon.
“Do you think they’ll listen to her?” he asked, referring to the magnolias.
“No,” I answered honestly. “Especially with her going on maternity leave soon. I think it’ll only get worse.”
He ran a soothing hand up my back and into my hair where he started massaging my scalp. I quickly became boneless, relaxing enough to voice the next part of my plan.
“I think I’m going to quit Lady Luck. Maybe even Fortuna altogether.” I turned my head toward him, the movement shifting his hand from my head to my jaw. “I think it’s time.”
His fingers stroked lightly down my jawline. “That’s a big change.”
“It would be. But the biggest reason I haven’t considered it before is Grandmother. But I can’t keep making decisions out of fear of her reactions or need for her approval. Once I’m off her property officially, I can really start to make my own decisions. I made a budget, and it looks like I have enough saved to not panic for at least six months while I find replacement work.” I glanced down at my ankle and amended, “Five, maybe, once I get that outrageous ER bill.”
He stared intently out into the water. “You know my parents would hire you in a heartbeat. If you want that. They sang your praises the entire time I was over there earlier.”
I smiled fondly. “The idea did cross my mind. The only thing that I didn’t love about the past two days working there—besides you being gone—was fear of getting caught. Isn’t that crazy? Like someone from Fortuna was gonna show up and what? Arrest me?” I shook my head, annoyed at the conditioning my brain was only now beginning to recognize. “Grandmother would… I don’t even know what. I have no idea how she would react.” I sucked in my lips. “I think it would be bad. Really bad.”
“Because of your mom and how she left?”
This man missed nothing.
“Subconsciously, yeah. Probably. But more so, I think the lack of control would send her into a spiral. And with her erratic behavior lately, I’m worried this will send her over the edge, but… I still have to do it. Right?”
“I can’t answer that for you.” He paused, turning me toward him so I straddled his lap, pushing my mostly dried hair out of my face as he said, “Take a minute and imagine going back to what you were doing before. Picture an average day.”
I traced the planes of his face, my hand gliding over his cheekbones lightly as my mind wandered away, trying on my life before Vinh.
The fit was horrid.
I imagined waking up at Grandmother’s house—or the trailer—the day ahead uncertain. Undefined. I walked or took the shuttle to Fortuna and entered the lobby, most of my waves of greeting to fellow co-workers going unreturned. I’d somehow forgotten about that, with the warmth and kindness of Vinh’s family wrapped around me like a protective blanket. I thought of the small pockets of joy I’d clung to each day–making towel animals, gardening with Jeanne, Caffeina, a perfectly presented platter of food at Cornucopia—before the memories darkened.
Dread that around every corner could be Grandmother.
Kristen at Dawn’s Diner, waiting to ask me if my grandmother was still rich.
The high rollers who raised their voices at me when their machines went cold, and the ones like Mr. Earl who were kind, but pitiable and lost, spending their time gambling “for their grandchildren” instead of being with their families.
My skin felt tighter the longer I wandered.
Vinh strummed my mouth as he asked, “Well?”
“I can’t go back. I won’t.”
His lips pressed against mine and breathed life into me.
“How did you know that would work?” I asked, breathless.
He smiled, looking contemplative, then met my gaze.
“Because that’s what I did.”
42
VINH
We fell asleep wrapped up in each other after only a few slow, lazy kisses, the weight of the day finally catching up to both of us.
I got up early the next morning, and even after I assured a sleep-rumpled Bree that she could sleep in, she insisted on joining me at the restaurant. We dressed quickly, the shower unfortunately much too small for us to share, and left the comfort of the houseboat. We stepped out into a light drizzle, and I ducked back into the cabin for an umbrella, extending it and pulling Bree into my side.
