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“Sir!” she demanded when I still didn’t acknowledge her.
I met her gaze and found the dark-brown eyes of an older woman dressed in an all-black outfit with pearl buttons down the front. Her eyes narrowed slightly as I studied her, my nose scrunching again when the scent of her floral perfume hit me.
“Yes, ma’am?”
“Oh! You do have some manners. Bless us all. Now, can you explain to me why you have been standing just as frozen as that statue of the goddess Minerva behind you? Are you having a medical emergency?”
I turned my head to study the statue in question. It stood several feet taller than my six-foot-one height and was made of glimmering white marble. The woman depicted had a spear in one hand and an owl perched on the other, and the entire thing was positioned on a large pedestal of the same material.
“Young man, this is my final warning!”
I turned from the statue lady to the fussy one and slightly raised an eyebrow at her.
She pulled her shoulders back. “Do you have any idea who I am?”
“I do not.”
“Well,” she started, a small, smug smile curling her lips, “let me introduce myself. My name is Barbara Ann Copeland. You may call me Miss Barb. I own the largest barge in Mississippi.” She said barge like “baaahj.”
“Okay?” I had no idea what this woman wanted or how to get rid of her.
She glided to the pedestal behind me and sat her giant purse on top of it before rummaging around inside. A moment later, she made a pleased sound and pulled something out.
“Hold out your hand,” she bade.
My hand instantly stretched toward her and unfurled without my conscious permission. She plopped the object—a small, circular piece of hard plastic— onto the palm of my hand. I fitted it in between my thumb and index finger and brought it closer to my face. A black ring of foam held the coin in place inside the plastic, and there was a decal around the circumference. Squinting, I read the bold font:
BARBARA ANN COPELAND | FORTUNA LADIES AUXILIARY PRESIDENT | 228-212-2456
I looked up at Barbara Ann Copeland, President of the Fortuna Ladies Auxiliary, and responded the only way that came to mind.
“Thanks.”
Her burgundy lips formed a calculating smile. “It’s two-sided.”
I flipped it over.
LEAD, FOLLOW, OR GET THE HECK OUT OF THE WAY
My ears started ringing as I processed how thoroughly this beehive-haired old woman had just… roasted me?
“Remember that Miss Barb told you that the next time you’re idling. Now, gentlemen.” She gestured to two bellhops who’d been discreetly waiting for her several feet away. “You can take those on up. I’ll follow behind in just a minute. These hips don’t move quite as quickly now that Mr. Arthur has gotten ahold of them.”
I didn’t know who Mr. Arthur was, but it seemed like TMI, so I put it out of my mind as the men pushed their carts to the elevators.
“Keep that lucky coin with you. It has never been touched by human hands. And call Miss Barb if you ever need a reminder to get out there and become a winner.” She winked at me and gracefully, if a bit slowly, left me in her dust.
The world around me seemed to breathe again, returning to a normal tempo.
I had a feeling my two options were to stew on this encounter for weeks or try to never think about it again. I swirled the iced matcha I was somehow still holding and was met with silence. Not a single ice cube had survived that encounter. I walked a few steps to the nearest trash can and tossed it.
A blur of motion caught my eye, and I glanced over to the lobby to see if the woman—the much younger and less scary one—was where my inexplicable obsession had left her.
She wasn’t.
Because now the redhead was cowering behind a large magnolia tree, wildly waving her now-gloveless hands at her pregnant co-worker.
I pressed my lips together and watched the scene for a few moments longer, feeling… something.
