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Giving up on hiding my tears, I faced her. “Things don’t have to change if we don’t let them, Elle.”
“Yes they do. Without change, we aren’t growing. I want to grow, and so do you.”
“That doesn’t mean we have to grow apart.”
“I can’t drop everything to fly off to New York on a moment’s notice.”
“I never asked you to.”
“You ask all the time.”
And that was a bad thing? It seemed every step I made to get close to her she interpreted as some sort of threat or crossing of personal boundaries.
“New York is your journey, Rayne. The Davenports are your people. I appreciate having a place in that world, but it’s not mine. I need to make my own adventure.”
My entire world was shook. What was she saying? Were we breaking up? If I hadn’t confronted her, would she have told me any of this? I was blindsided and confused, unsure what this future with or without Elle would be.
“Are you still going to be my maid of honor?”
“Of course, I’m going to be your maid of honor,” she said as if it was crazy to wonder such a thing. “I just need a little space and I can’t sleep with the best man anymore. It was different when he was just your boyfriend’s brother.”
Was she saying she broke up with Barrett for me? I didn’t want that. “Elle, I’m fine with you dating Barrett. I mean, it was a little weird at first because I was afraid he’d take advantage of you, but it turns out he’s actually much deeper than I realized?—”
“Rayne, stop. You’re putting way too much thought into this. We all know Barrett never stays with one woman for long. It was time to end things.”
The dishonesty needed to stop. Frustrated she was pinning her breakup on Barrett’s reputation when there was another man in the picture, I finally called her out. “I know about Paul.”
“How?”
“Does it matter? The point is this isn’t just about Barrett’s reputation. Why won’t you admit there’s someone else? Can’t we just be honest with each other?”
She lowered her stare. “He’s just a friend.”
“But you like him?”
She blushed and shrugged. “We’re just sort of hanging out right now but, yeah, I like him.”
When she first told me about Barrett, she couldn’t wipe the smile off her face. I still remember how giddy she’d been. This felt very different, but I wanted to understand. I still wanted to be a part of her life. “Does he like you?”
“There have been some signals.”
I had a terrible fear she was going to ask?—
“I was actually wondering if he could be my plus one at the wedding.”
My insides instantly cramped as a bowling ball seemed to settle in the pit of my stomach. “Oh, um, I’ll talk to Hale.”
Hale was always my scapegoat in a pinch. I’d learned that from getting out of boring work things Remington sometimes wanted me to do. While I wanted to support Elle’s choices, I wasn’t sure I wanted to invite this guy to my wedding where Elle would be sitting directly next to Barrett.
“Thanks. You’ll like him. Maybe we can all go out sometime so he can meet you guys and you can get to know him. I think you’ll really like him.”
That seemed so much safer than inviting him to the wedding. “Let’s do that.”
Unfortunately, like after any battle, the damage could not be undone. While we found our white flag and called a truce, words had been hurled. I left the gym sore and wounded in ways that had absolutely nothing to do with the machines and everything to do with the girl who used to be my best friend.
I knew it then.
We were over. Something in the security we shared had changed.
