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Too late. I was already picturing my father welcoming me back into his life with open arms, knowing full well that would never happen.
I clicked on the app icon and held my breath. It took forever to load. Then, in bold print at the top of my private messages, just below his name, was the first line of his response…
Hi Rayne, It’s great to hear from you…
Casting Call For Steve Martin…
STEVE, PLEASE PICK UP YOUR SCRIPT
With one ear tuned to the running water as Hale showered, I opened the message. My heart pinched and pulled in so many directions I wasn’t sure if I wanted to scream with joy or throw up.
My dad had responded! He actually wrote something back! I was in such shock, I had to take a deep breath before I could make any sense of the words on my phone.
Hi Rayne, It’s great to hear from you. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my little girl and wonder what kind of woman she’s become. It sounds like things are going well for you. Nothing makes me happier than to hear that. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding and thank you for letting me know about this important milestone in your life. I know I haven’t always been there for the big moments, but you’ve never left my mind and you’ve always held a place in my heart. I have a lot of regrets. The main one being that I don’t know you. I don’t know what you do for a living or what movies you like. I don’t know how you spend your free time or even what your laugh sounds like. Those are all things I believe a father should know, and I deeply regret that I don’t. I’m also extremely touched, that after all these years and missed moments, you still think of me. I know I haven’t always been deserving of your patience, but I am grateful that you have such a forgiving heart. I would love nothing more than to connect with you. Where do you live? I’m in Pennsylvania, and I can travel by car if it isn’t too far. Would you like to have lunch? I understand if that’s asking too much, and if writing to each other is all you can manage at the moment, that’s perfectly fine. It’s a start. I would have responded earlier but I rarely use Facebook and I didn’t find your message until this morning when I signed on to list something on marketplace. Anyway, I’m sorry it took me so long to respond, to this message and many others. I promise not to make you wait again. If you have it in your heart to write back, I’ll answer right away. Love, Dad
“Rayne?”
I looked up from my phone with tears in my eyes and found Hale watching me from the bathroom door, a towel clinging to his hips and steam billowing at his back.
Still in shock, a stuttered breath filled my lungs and I held out my phone to him. “It’s my dad…”
He crossed the bedroom and took the phone, frowning at the screen. “He responded to your message?”
I nodded. This was so unexpected I didn’t know what to feel.
“That’s…great.” He looked up at me and then back at the phone as he continued reading. “He sounds sincere.”
I laughed, sort of outside of myself. There had been a hundred—no, a thousand—other moments when I wished my dad would answer me. I never imagined it feeling quite this way.
I was elated and confused. Sick to my stomach but also excited.
Dizzy, as if I just stepped off a rollercoaster I’d been locked on for the majority of my life. I didn’t know what to say or how to walk. I just knew my dad was there and he wanted to hear from me again.
All of my bottled-up emotions from the past week burst out of me in a giddy sob. Finally, someone I loved cared that I was getting married.
“I can’t believe it.” More tears fell and I actively began to weep with joy.
“Hey, hey, hey,” Hale said, coming to sit on the bed with me. “Don’t cry.”
“It’s okay.” I sniffled. “This is a good cry.”
There was such an incredible, indescribable feeling of relief. I thought about my twelve-year-old self and how badly she’d wanted this moment, but it was so much heavier than I’d ever imagined it would be. I wasn’t sure a little girl could process this much emotional baggage at once. Or maybe it was heavy because I’d been waiting for him to answer me since I was a child.
“I just can’t believe this. I never actually thought he’d reply. I mean, I hoped, but I was prepared for disappointment. I was frustrated when weeks passed with no response but I was getting over it. This…” I shook my phone and scoffed with a smile, still in shock. “I never expected this.”
“But you’re happy, right?”
I gaped at him. “Happy would be an understatement. He wants to get together with me, Hale. I’m going to hang out with my Dad!”
I jumped off the bed and paced. I wanted to pack and leave that minute, before he could rescind the offer and make this amazing feeling go away.
“He’s on the East Coast. It’s perfect. I’ll be in New York and he’s right in Pennsylvania. They’re pretty close, right? Drivable?”
“I read that. You should go. And yes, Pennsylvania’s only a short drive from New York. When you go back to the city you should plan a day with him. Martel will take you wherever you want to go.”
My heart did a cartwheel. “Oh, my God, I’m going to meet my dad!” Pressing my hand flat on my stomach, I paced the bedroom. “I think I’m going to be sick. This is like the night before Christmas when you’re a kid waiting for Santa.” I blew out a breath. “Wow. I don’t know what to do.”
“Enjoy it.” Hale laughed, probably so relieved to see me happy again. “He’s the lucky one. Trust me.”
