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I jog back to the car, feeling anxious, unwell.
There’s an itch inside me. I want to be close to Kayla. I’m having withdrawal symptoms, and I want to feel her skin against mine.
I throw my findings on Rose’s lap and start the car. Opening the map on my phone, I search for the closest supermarket. It’s a small convenience store not far from here. Again, I’m speeding through the streets, in a horrible hurry to get back to my wife.
My sister watches me with wide eyes as I take the bottle of body wash and exit my car again.
I burst into the store like a madman. Going straight to the toiletries section, I finally find what I need. The cashier’s mouth falls open when I drop ten bottles of body wash on the counter.
“Um…” She hesitates. “Would you like a bag?”
I cock an eyebrow at her.
“Yes,” she answers herself, nodding repeatedly.
I walk out with two full bags that I toss on my sister’s lap again as soon as I sit down in the car.
“What the fuck is all this?” she asks stupidly as I drive away from the convenience store.
“Are you blind?” I snap. “It’s body wash. Kay uses that one.”
“Why the hell did you buy this many?”
“Because I like her scent, and she hasn’t been smelling like herself since being at my house. It’s annoying.”
“Annoying,” she repeats slowly. “And what, Kay needs ten bottles?”
“I don’t want her to find an excuse to come back and buy it here. They don’t sell that shit in Stoneview. They’re too snobby for supermarket brands.”
“You bought ten bottles of supermarket body wash so Kayla doesn’t have an excuse to come and buy it here.”
“Yes.”
“Yes,” she repeats.
“Oh my god, Ozy.” I rub my temple. The girl is giving me a headache. “What are you? A fucking parrot?”
“Oh, Nate,” she laughs, her head hitting the headrest from how hilarious she thinks she is. “I think you’re starting to know exactly what love feels like.”
In the back, Rachel giggles too. The two women are having the best time making fun of me.
I accelerate down the streets of the North Shore and quickly join the highway. I can’t answer my sister, no matter how much I want to. No matter how annoying she is and how much I want to shut her up.
Instead, I turn to my thoughts, to everything I feel inside. It’s a fucking mess, and I can’t focus. No matter how much I try to make sense of everything, I keep coming back to the same need.
I want to touch my little sunflower and feel her soft petals between my fingers.
I want to make her mine over and over again, so she has no doubt in her mind who she belongs to.
I want something as simple as feeling my wife close to me.
23
KAYLA
Dangerous Game - Klergy, BEGINNERS
A hand wakes me up. It’s pulling at my shoulder, forcing me to go from sleeping on my side to my back. It’s still sunny outside. The curtains are drawn and there isn’t much light in the room, but I can see it’s not night yet. All I had to do was sleep, so I did.
