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“But she told me, Mommy. Livie told me.”
I straighten up and come to sit beside her on the bed. “Did she say it?” I ask calmy.
Lia shakes her head. “No, Mommy. Livie no talk.”
“How do you know, then, honey?”
She shrugs, toying with the bear some more. “I understand Livie.”
I smile to myself, feeling a wave of emotions crashing into me. “Of course, you do. She’s your sister.”
“Her teddy has a name. A name. The name is Mommy.”
I turn to my other daughter. “Livie, is your teddy bear’s name Mommy? Like Mommy?” I point at myself.
She looks at me, silent, and hugs the bear closer to her. Then she stands up and pushes it against me, and tight to her again. She repeats the gesture a few times.
“See!” Lia screams. She kicks her feet on the bed and lies down. “I love my bed. It’s my bed. I love it.”
I laugh, taking Livie in my arms when she pushes her head against my stomach.
“Mommy,” Lia wonders out loud. “I sleep in your bed tonight?”
A laugh bursts out of me. “Of course, honey. You can sleep with Mommy any time you want.”
39
KAYLA
lovely - Billie Eilish, Khalid
I hear a vague scream through the haze of my sleep. A headache is pounding inside me, probably because the girls wanted me to read a story last night. It’s always painful for me to read, and especially out loud. Even children’s stories.
“Uncle Caden!”
Lia.
I wake in a split second, sitting up in a gasp. My hand shoots under my pillow until I remember I don’t sleep with my gun when the girls sleep in my bed.
“Calm down, Kay.”
Caden’s even voice helps me regulate my breathing.
“W-what’s wrong?” I croak.
My brother turns on the light, and I put a hand in front of my eyes. He’s holding a crying Lia, and Livie is hugging his leg like her life depends on it.
“What happened?” I jump out of bed, taking Livie in my arms. They both fell asleep in my arms. I should have felt the second they left me.
“You happened,” he says. “Lia ran to my room saying you were dying. You’ve got really bad night terrors, Kay. Did you know?”
I rub my eyes, kissing Livie’s head as I hold her close to my chest. I’m unconsciously bouncing, soothing her.
Lia extends her arms to me too, and I’m forced to take her despite already struggling to hold one of them.
I fall onto my bed, sitting so I can hold them close.
“You two left the room without telling Mommy?”
