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“I didn’t know if this would be something you’d even want to deal with since you lost your child,” I retort, hating how apathetic I sound, but it’s the truth. “I didn’t even know how to navigate that. If you’d even want to raise someone else’s child.”
Something flashes over Hudson’s face when he asks, “Where is he?”
Another conversation I’m not ready to have, but Hudson’s gotten this far. Why not just give him everything?
“L.A.,” I reply. “He’s out there for a job.”
“Did you love him?”
I lift my shoulders because, what is love? Does it hurt this much? Does it make me want to drown in a puddle of self-loathing and wish I could go back and change things for him? “I don’t know. We dated in high school. He treated me well but we just fell out of it. It’s hard for him to be so far away from Rory, but it’s not going to be forever.”
“And what if he comes back a changed man?”
I lift my chin because I know where this is going. “What does that have to do with me?”
Hudson shakes his head a bit. “When he’s grown up and wants to take care of you and your daughter.”
“I don’t need anyone lookin’ out for me. No one else does now.”
“But it’ll get old.”
“Says who?”
“Says a woman who’s practically a single mom.”
My nostrils flare a bit, but he’s not wrong. “Marshall and I are done for life. He has a girlfriend in L.A. that he’s very fond of. I think they’re gonna get married.”
“And you’re okay with that?”
“As long as she’s not a bitch to my daughter. Then I won’t have to smack the shit out of her.”
I swear I see a ghost of a smile cross Hudson’s face, but it’s gone within the next blink.
“Get home and take care of your daughter, Opie,” he orders, taking a step away from me and indicating that he’s done taking up my time. “I’ll see you at the shop.”
No.
This isn’t how the conversation is supposed to end.
“I’m sure you have more questions,” I pipe in. “If you want?—”
“I’m good,” he interrupts, shoving his large hands into the pockets of his jeans.
“What about us? Where do we?—”
“Our contract is null and void,” he professes, averting his gaze to the hospital behind me. “I think I’ve taken more than what was allotted in the original agreement, so you’re off scot-free.”
“I wasn’t talking about that. I meant us.”
“There is no us.” His green eyes slam right back into me and I feel the ferociousness of them. The reality and requirements of what he wants. And it’s not someone else’s kid. “We go back to what we were.”
And without a say from me, Hudson gives me his back and begins toward the parking lot.
We go back to what we were.
Yeah, that’s never gonna happen.
thirty-one
