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“This. Us.” She pushes my hands away and slides across the bed, putting too much distance between us. My chest feels like it’s in a vice. I can barely draw breath.
“No. Please.” I reach for her before dropping my hand, curling it into a fist. “Tell me how to make this right. I’ll do anything for you. You know I will.”
Her bloodshot eyes glisten with tears. She shakes her head. “There’s nothing you can do.” A sob tears from her throat and it takes all of my will power to stay where I am, to give her space. “I thought I was stronger than this, but I’m not. I knew the dangers, the risks, of this lifestyle and I ignored them. I can’t do that anymore. I want out. I need out.”
Her declaration guts me. I can’t live without Arianna in my life. The idea of being without her is too bleak to even consider.
“Listen, life is dangerous. It doesn’t matter where you go or how you live.” Desperate, I run my hand through my hair to keep from touching her. “Stay with me. I will protect you, I will come for you, always. No one will ever take you away from me like that again. I promise.”
She looks at me with so much hopelessness that my heart sinks further. “You can’t promise me that.” Slowly, she shakes her head. “I always knew one day I’d disappear like Ilaria did. We were so close growing up, I knew our destinies had to be entwined. No one can protect women like us. We’ll always be used, as either prizes or leverage. It’s the world we’re born into and the men who rule it that control our fate. I can’t stay here any longer.”
She doesn’t believe that. She can’t. Where is her fight, her determination? Has that really been stripped from her in a single night?
I don’t believe it for a second. Her stubborn perseverance isn’t just on the surface, it’s soul deep. But I have a feeling that she needs to rediscover that for herself. All I can do is support and encourage her until she finds her inner strength. Just like she brought me back to mine when my father got inside my head, exploiting my every fear and weakness.
“You are strong,” I tell her. “You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met. Don’t let anyone take that away from you. Don’t take it away from yourself either.”
Silent tears stream down her cheeks. I can’t hold myself back any longer, I reach for her, but she raises her hand to make me stop.
“Don’t,” she says.
I retract my hand. The rejection stings. Why won’t she let me comfort her?
Reaching for her left hand, she twists off her wedding band and holds it out to me. I stare at it, unwilling to hear what her actions and words are telling me. This can’t be over between us. Not like this. When I don’t take the ring, she drops it on the blanket. The soft plop echoes in my ears.
She frowns down at her ring finger, the black ink tattoo crisp and glaring in the lamp light.
All at once, everything she’s said sinks in.
Born into this world.
Used for a prize.
Men who control women’s fate.
She’s talking about me. The reason she thinks my promise to protect her is an empty one is because I can’t protect her from myself.
I did this to her.
Konstantin and his men took her over the edge, highlighting in bright neon marker that’s been there all along. But I did this to her when I took her for myself. When I permanently stamped my name and claim of ownership on her flesh is when all of her fears came to life.
She doesn’t want me. She never has. I forced her into this, and I’ve been too fucking delusional to see the truth. Until now.
Clearing my throat, I stand. “I’ll make you an appointment to have that removed.”
“It’s fine. I can do it myself.”
“I put it there, I should pay for its removal.”
She shrugs like she really doesn’t care so long as it’s gone.
“I never meant to hurt you, kisa.” My voice is barely above a whisper. “I’m sorry.”
Her gaze snaps up to meet mine. I’m sorry. Those are words I should have said to her a long time before tonight. But I refused to admit I’d done anything wrong. I’d been too arrogant to see that I was hurting the woman I love. Now it’s all quite clear.
Those two words, I’m sorry, have come too late.
Backing away from her, I rub at my chest where it aches. We’re done.
