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I nod, hoping she can’t see the turmoil raging inside me. “Never better.” But we both know it’s a lie. The truth is, I’m in way over my head. And there’s no telling how this will end. I step off the treadmill and help Tanya off hers. She stumbles a little, falling right into my arms.
Suddenly, the gym doors creak open, and Diane pokes her head in. “Dad? Are you busy?”
Panic surges through me as Tanya and I jerk apart, putting a respectable distance between us. My heart hammers against my rib cage. Diane steps fully into the room, her gaze traveling from me to Tanya and back again. I wonder if she saw anything suspicious. The look on her face tells me clearly that she did. I can almost see the gears turning in her head, suspicions forming. She frowns, eyeing Tanya. “Hi!” she says, looking at Tanya. “What’s going on here?”
I look at my daughter, then at Tanya, both of whom are staring at each other with awkward smiles.
“Just helping your dad with a last-minute workout,” Tanya shrugs, the picture of nonchalance. But I can see tension in the set of her shoulders, betraying her calm facade.
“Well, don’t let me keep you. We’ll talk later,” Diane says.
With that, Diane spins on her heel and marches out of the gym, the doors slamming in her wake. Silence blankets the room as Tanya and I absorb the ramifications of what just transpired. I scrub a hand over my face, my heart pounding. How did everything spiral out of control so quickly? And how am I possibly going to fix this mess I’ve created?
Tanya touches my arm, her expression laced with concern. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to cause trouble between you and Diane.”
I shake my head. “It’s not your fault. I should have been more careful.” More careful. When have I ever exercised caution where Tanya is concerned?
She bites her lip, her gaze dropping to the floor. The urge to pull her into my arms is nearly overwhelming. Instead, I clench my hands into fists at my sides.
“Diane’ll come around,” Tanya says, though she sounds less than convinced. “We just need to be more discreet until we figure out the best way to tell her about us.”
Us. The word sends a spike of anger through my chest, despite the circumstances. I cup Tanya’s cheek, tilting her face up to meet my eyes. “There is no ‘us,’ Tanya. Remember? You never wanted that conversation.” For some reason, I feel angry. Angry that we can’t put a label on what we have. Tanya refuses to indulge in that conversation, so, right now, we have nothing.
Her lips part in a soft gasp, her eyes widening. She takes a step back, shaking her head. “What? What are you saying?”
I swallow against the ache in my throat. “It feels like we’re in limbo. You don’t want to put a label on what we have. What should I tell Diane? That I’m sleeping with a woman her age? If there was something honorable between us to tell, I would.”
For a long moment, Tanya simply stares at me. When she speaks again, her tone is icy calm. “Get out of my sight before I do something we’ll both regret.”
I don’t hesitate, turning and striding from the room. Only when I’m ensconced in the solitude of my office do I allow the tears burning my eyes to fall.
Diane refuses to speak to me for the rest of the day. She’s holed up in her room and ignoring my periodic knocks on her door. By the time I’ve showered and changed for dinner, worry and guilt have formed a tight knot in the pit of my stomach. When I head downstairs, I find Diane already seated at the long wooden table in the dining room. The bowl of pasta in front of her is going cold. She looks up at my entrance, her eyes red-rimmed but her expression composed. Taking my usual seat across from her, I clear my throat. “Diane, we need to talk about what happened this afternoon.”
“Do we?” She arches a brow, twisting her fork through the pasta. “Seems pretty straightforward to me. I saw you and Tanya all over each other. Not much else to discuss.”
I wince at her blunt assessment, scrubbing a hand over my face. “It’s not that simple, sweetheart. Tanya just lost her balance and I…”
Diane slams her fist on the table, her eyes blazing. “Don’t. Just…don’t. I don’t want to hear your pathetic excuses.” She pushes back from her chair, the legs screeching against the floor. “I’ve lost my appetite.”
Before I can say another word, she’s gone. The ache in my chest intensifies as I stare at the empty doorway, wondering how I managed to screw things up so royally. But one thing is clear—this isn’t over. Not by a long shot.
I find myself knocking on Diane’s bedroom door a couple hours later. No answer. Not that I expected one. Sighing, I turn the knob and push inside.
Diane is curled up on her bed with her back to the door. My heart clenches at the sight. “Sweetheart, please talk to me.”
Silence.
Steeling myself, I cross the room and perch on the edge of her bed. “I know you’re upset, and you have every right to be, but this thing with Tanya—it’s complicated.”
Diane whips around to face me, her eyes flashing. “Complicated? She’s my best friend! How could you do this to me?”
Wait. What?
“You…you know Tanya?” I ask, trying to clarify.
“Yes. Of course I know her. We went to school together, Dad! She used to come over all the time. Remember?”
“She did?” I ask, utterly confused. I also feel betrayed and a little angry. Had Tanya not realized how it would affect Diane if she and I were to pursue a relationship? Of course, that would require labels, which Tanya isn’t keen on.
