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Twenty minutes later, Thomas sat on the swing where he and Danny had had their first kiss. He had come here earlier in the week, with Issac hanging back, to see if he could spark the feelings he’d had for Danny before Peacock. It felt the same as it did right now: hollow sadness but at least he didn’t feel like gravity stopped working like it had in the back in the shower.
“Thomas,” Danny’s voice cracked as he ran over.
Thomas looked him up and down slowly as he approached. He had already been tan when they had left from being outside during games and practice, but he seemed even darker after a week of being in the tropics. His eyes were red-rimmed and he looked stressed, scared even as he slowed without closing the gap. “Danny,” he said evenly.
“I- Thomas, I didn’t send that email,” he said, taking a step forward then immediately back again. “I didn’t!”
“Hm, Sean mentioned in his messages to Ceri,” Thomas said, standing up and dusting off his pants. “To be completely honest, I don’t care.” He paused as relief broke across Danny’s face and he did another of those teetering steps where he didn’t actually get closer. He didn’t come closer. Just like before. Thomas folded his arms. “I don’t care,” he continued, “because I’m done.”
Danny’s face fell immediately. “What- Thomas? What do you mean you’re done?”
“I’m done,” he repeated. “I needed you and you— you wouldn’t even look at me.”
“I did look at you,” Danny argued. “The Cat and Snake wouldn’t let me get any closer! I-”
Thomas shook his head. “I don’t mean when they came, I mean at the festival.” He looked at Danny, staring into his face and blue eyes dropped. “You wouldn’t look at me,” he repeated, feeling his voice break. “I fucking needed you and you wouldn’t look at me. And when you did finally look at me, you did it with hate! You tried to shove me.”
Danny was squirming. “I didn’t mean it,” he muttered, not looking up. “I was scared, Thomas.”
“And you think I wasn’t,” Thomas demanded. “What about being threatened in a country I know five sentences of the language of the official language makes you think I wasn’t scared, too?”
“I- You-” He still wasn’t looking up and Thomas felt his temper rising.
“We’re done,” he breathed, turning away to head back to where Issac was waiting for him on the other side of the park. He was glad it was Issac and not one of his aunts. He was sure they would do their best to stay back like Issac promised but he didn’t think Ceri could, not when she thought he’d be upset or hurt. “I’m not doing it anymore.”
“Thomas please,” Danny begged, grabbing at his sleeve. “Please! I’m sorry! We can make this work!”
Don’t look back, he told himself, his throat constricting. Don’t look at those puppy eyes. He shook his head. “You are leaving anyway in a month,” he pointed out, tugging at his arm to try to break free. “There’s no reason to drag this out and wait for another fight to break us up over the phone.”
“I’ll stay,” Danny said his voice high. “I’ll give up the scholarship-”
Thomas pivoted on the ball of his foot and felt the solidness of Danny’s jaw under his fist, almost surprised when it didn’t hurt. “Don’t you,” he snarled as Danny hit the ground, advancing forward to point down at him, “dare, Daniel Boyle!”
Danny was staring up at him, one hand on his jaw and his eyes wide, surprise rapidly turning into fear.
“You are going to college,” Thomas continued, spitting the words out with his increasing rage.
How dare he, he thought as he continued.
“You are going to play fucking baseball!”
Does he not know what I went through to protect him?
“You are going to get your degree!”
How at least two men are dead for his future?
“And if you are anything less than the fucking star I know you are,” he had grabbed Danny’s shirt, dragging him back up to make him look him in the eyes.
To even suggest throwing it away so easily?
“I’m going to fucking find you and make you pay for it!” He shoved Danny back again, watching him stumble and catch himself on the same climbing wall they had kissed against. “You aren’t wasting this on a high school boyfriend! So get your shit together!” Not waiting for him to recover this time, Thomas turned around and stormed back over to Issac’s car.
Issac had been leaning against the driver’s side, not looking particularly comfortable. He had confided in Thomas that Five Points Park made him anxious because of the war when he was a kid, but hadn’t gone into any detail. He didn’t mention it again and Thomas had asked when he called to see if Issac would take him.
They didn’t speak as Thomas got into the car or as Issac turned the car on and they started away.
It wasn’t until they pulled into the drive through that Issac finally spoke. “Milkshake?”
