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Once the chill starts to creep through my sweater a bit too deeply, I head back inside, crossing over to where Bellamy and my sister Busy are chatting near the bar.
“Amazing turnout, huh?” Bellamy says, linking her arm in my good one. “And all the Mitchell kids are together tonight. We should take a picture.”
Busy snorts. “I came up to support Boyd, not to be a part of your scrapbook.”
Bellamy grins and rolls her eyes. “I don’t scrapbook.”
The two of them return to the conversation they were in the middle of when I approached – talking about some guy Busy has been seeing at school – and I take that as a chance to look around the room.
I’m distracted by the fact that I don’t see Gabi anywhere, and my shoulders fall when I realize she’s probably gone home. I feel like I should go find her, talk to her, fix whatever thing has truly broken between us.
But at the same time, I know that brokenness is something I caused, and more importantly, she asked me to leave her alone. Even though I might want a chance to try to fix things, get things off my chest, I still want to respect what she’s asked of me, no matter how shitty it feels.
“Hey, I’m gonna take off,” I say, adjusting the sling at the back of my neck where it’s rubbing against my skin too roughly. “I’m just not feeling it anymore.”
Bellamy gives me a look I hate, one filled with pity.
“You sure? I think they’re gonna do a speech soon.”
Sighing, my shoulders fall. I’d feel guilty if I missed that, if I begged out early because…what? Because I’m feeling a bit sad about my ex not wanting to be besties? Pathetic, and worth every ounce of that pity look Bellamy gave me.
“I guess I can stay a little longer,” I tell her, trying to force an easy smile.
It doesn’t feel natural though. I still feel distracted, and I can’t help but look around the bar for Gabi one more time.
My heart dips when I realize she’s really gone.
“We are excited to offer this in-service opportunity to our new faculty members at CPHS every year,” Principal Cohen begins, a wide smile on her face as she stands at the front of the classroom.
A bright presentation is on the screen behind her reading “New Employee In-Service Day”. It matches the equally bright folder on the desk in front of me containing a bunch of bullshit on CPHS core foundations and some other stuff I scanned over quickly. If I’d known staff development would be part of taking on the job as a part-time baseball coach, I might not have agreed to do it at all.
But even as I think it, I know that’s not true. I’ve only been helping out for a week so far, and I’m actually really enjoying working with the kids. They seem enthusiastic about baseball, and it fills me up inside, reminding me of the excitement I felt during my own days on the team.
“Now that the school year has started and you’ve settled into your new roles,” Principal Cohen continues, drawing my attention back to this room, “we’re going to spend some uninterrupted time together, focusing on professional development.”
I can practically hear the collective groan in the room, though there are only a handful of us present. The slide on the screen changes, but before she says anything else, I hear the door open behind me. When I glance back, I have to blink twice when I see Gabi entering the room, an apologetic smile on her face.
“Ms. Ventura. So glad you could join us.”
By the sound of the principal’s voice, I’d argue she is in fact not glad Gabi is here. I, on the other hand, am quite pleased to see her.
“I’m so sorry,” she says, her eyes skimming the room briefly before stopping on me.
“Please take a seat. We’re just getting started.”
Gabi looks away and moves to the other side of the room, choosing a chair in the back corner. Realizing my opportunity to look at her is now gone, I spin back in my seat and face the front.
Everything Principal Cohen says after that is a bunch of gobbledygook. A few slides are displayed on the screen, something about the school’s guiding principles, but all I can think about is the fact that Gabi is just a few feet away.
It feels like random luck that she’s here, though I guess it’s good luck for me and bad luck for her based on the way her nose wrinkled when she saw me.
Eventually, I drag my attention back to the screen.
“So, now that we’ve reviewed some of the information intrinsic to our educational approach here at CPHS, we’re going to take a look at what the day ahead will bring.”
She switches to a new slide.
“We’ve already started with reviewing our foundational ideas. Next we’ll discuss some OSHA and legal updates that we just have to get out of the way. Sorry about that. Then we’ll break for lunch before returning to do some teambuilding activities. We want to make sure you folks get to know each other and know you’re not alone as our newest employees. Finally we’ll wrap up by discussing the year and creating your professional development plans so you feel supported in pursuing the things that make you the most passionate about education.”
