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“Anyone wanna join me? It’s not so bad,” I taunted.
Was I lying my ass off? Absolutely. Did I stay floating in the water for several minutes while the captain of the team got increasingly more anxious that I’d die of hypothermia and he’d get in trouble for hazing? You fucking bet, and it was worth every painful minute to watch him squirm.
The following year, we did it as a team and collectively agreed it was optional, officially putting the bullshit dares to rest. Even so, the polar plunge became a yearly tradition, and it stuck around after I left.
“Do the guys still do that shit?” I ask, double-checking that my legacy as the Polar King remains. A self-declared title, to be sure.
Rush pins me with a look. “Of course we do. You created the tradition and everyone knew you were going somewhere. Nobody wanted to risk ending something Bam created. Too much superstition.”
I grin, finishing off the last of my beer and setting my glass on the railing next to me. Nothing is more a part of baseball than the superstition that comes along with almost every facet of the best sport on earth.
My junior year of college, I ate a ham and cheese sandwich before every single game for an entire season because we won the first game and I didn’t want to ruin it for everyone. It’s the one perfect season Whitney College has ever had. I can’t officially take credit—we were a team, after all—but I definitely played a part in holding it together with those ham and cheese sammies.
“So…how was your chat with Gabriela?”
At Rush’s question, I let out a sigh that ends in an awkward chuckle.
“It was…something.” My eyes glance through the window and spot the woman in question as she crosses the room to head back to the bar.
“Seemed tense when I left you two alone.”
“That’s because it was.”
We stand there for a while, not saying anything, before I finally speak again.
“She ever talk to you about our breakup?” I ask, glancing at Rush.
He shakes his head. “You two were off at college. I didn’t see her again until she moved back, and at that point, two years had passed. I figured everyone had kind of moved on from it, you know?” He shrugs. “Besides, she and I weren’t as close as you two were. If she wanted to talk to someone about you, it would have been Nicole, not me.”
I nod, knowing he’s right. Gabi isn’t much for talking about the things going on in her mind. She tends to take her emotions and bottle them up pretty tight. So while Rush, Gabi, Nicole, and I did run in the same friend group, the idea that Gabi would confide in Rush about our breakup is a little far-fetched.
Still, would have been nice if he had some sort of insight.
“She said she has no obligation to make nice since I’m the one who dumped her,” I share, having replayed that line over and over again in my mind since she said it two days ago.
Rush snorts. “Sounds like something she’d say.” He takes a sip of his beer. “So what actually did happen between you two? The town talk made it seem like you dumped her because you wanted to sow your wild oats.”
I look at him, a pinched expression on my face. “Who said that?”
“My dad.”
My face falls and I rub a hand over my beard. The curse of living in a small town. Everyone thinks they know everything.
“Well, I can promise you that’s not true. I’m not that kind of guy.”
Rush nods. “Sure. That’s fine. I’m just telling you what I heard. We never really talked about it, you know?”
Yeah, I know. I didn’t talk about it with anyone. Just kept it to myself, this painful hole in my chest that made it hard to breathe. Eventually, I learned to deal with it, and it just became a part of me.
“I did break up with her,” I tell him, “but it’s a lot more complicated than that.”
He sighs. “Isn’t it always?” He tilts back his beer, finishing it off. “I’m gonna head back in. Want anything?”
“Nah, I’m good. Thanks, though. Just gonna stay out here for a while.”
He nods then goes inside, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I keep thinking about the way she looked at me, both at the hardware store and in the hallway at school, and I can’t get it out of my head.
There was a time when Gabi looked at me like I was the most important person in the world. I get that we’re not together anymore, so it’s unrealistic for me to think she’d still see me that way, but I didn’t think she’d…hate me. I didn’t think she wouldn’t want to be in the same room as me. I assumed, at the very least, we could still be friends, but it seems like that’s the absolute last thing she wants.
