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“How are you holding up?” Caleb rubbed her back for a minute.
Sighing, she raised her eyes to his. “I’m stunned, and I regret that it took me this long to look for her. I should’ve known my father was the one who’d separated us. I should’ve—”
“Theresa, there is no blame to be had here—not on your mother’s part or on yours. I’m just glad you have the opportunity to get to know each other now.”
Teary-eyed, she nodded. Her mother reappeared, carrying one of those pastel-floral keepsake boxes available at craft stores everywhere. She set it on the table, removed the lid, and took out a bundle of envelopes held together with a large rubber band.
“You might as well have these,” Vanessa said, smiling at Theresa. “Every birthday and holiday, I’d send each of you a card with a few dollars inside.” Vanessa handed her the bundled stack of cards. “Each one of them came back to me unopened, with ‘return to sender’ written across the front. Your father wouldn’t allow you to have them.”
Theresa’s hands shook as she accepted the stack. “Sounds about right.” She traced a finger over her father’s words of refusal scrawled across the envelope on top.
“I gave up after five years,” Vanessa said, her voice quavering. “I want you to know … I feel sorry for your father. I’ve forgiven your father. I needed to in order to heal. Now, all I feel for him is pity. He’s a miserable, bitter coward who is unwilling to face his problems.”
A lump clogged her throat, and all Theresa could do was nod. She swallowed a few times before she could respond. “Can I take Jake and Andrew’s cards with me? I want to see that they hear your side of the story, and I’ll make sure they finally receive these cards. Maybe it’ll make a difference; maybe it won’t, but either way I need to at least try.” She studied her mother, hoping she’d agree.
“Of course. Take them. I understand why you’d want to try, while at the same time, I don’t expect hearing my side will make a difference. Theresa, if you don’t get the response you hope for, let it go. That’s on them, not on you.”
“I know. Thanks to my best friend here, I’m in therapy.” Once again she reached for Caleb’s hand, and he clasped it in both of his. “I’m doing my best to … to deal with the trauma of my past so I can be healthier.”
“I’m so glad, Theresa … so very glad, and I look forward to getting to know you better. That has always been my greatest wish.”
The rest of their time together went by in a blur. Vanessa made them lunch, and Theresa told her mother all about Jeremy, Charlie, and even Sully. She shared pictures of them she had on her cell phone, and Caleb took pictures of her and her mother together. Then, it was time to go.
“Is it all right if I hug you?” her mother asked as they walked toward the front door.
“Absolutely.” Theresa and her mother hugged each other, and once again memories of her childhood she’d believed were lost resurfaced. “I sure have missed your hugs, Mom,” she managed to croak out. “I want you to meet your grandsons. I’ll figure out a time when we can come for a visit. It might have to wait until after our tour though.”
“I’d love that. I have the room, and I insist you all stay here with me. This is your home, Theresa, not just this house, but this land. Your ancestors have lived here stretching all the way back to Chief Joseph’s time. This is your place of belonging. Don’t you ever forget that.” She let go of her and stepped back.
“Thank you. I won’t.”
“Caleb, I’m glad to have met you. You are always welcome here as well,” Vanessa shook his hand and smiled.
“Thank you, Vanessa. I look forward to seeing you again, and we’ll talk more about arranging an event.” Caleb lifted the box of cards from the floor.
One more hug, and she and Caleb made their way to the rental car. Caleb set the box of cards in the back seat before taking his place behind the wheel. Theresa settled into her seat and leaned her head back against the headrest. “I am utterly exhausted, and at the same time, I’m utterly at peace in a way I’ve never before experienced.”
Caleb backed out of the driveway and set out for the airport. “Your mother is a strong woman. I admire her. I see a lot of her in you. I know you don’t see it, but you’re also an incredibly strong and resourceful woman.” He grinned at her. “I like your mother, and I hope I get to see her again.”
“You will. We’ll do a fundraiser for the reservation’s schools. Maybe we can fund a music program. We could make the fundraiser an annual thing.” She gazed at him. “That was a brilliant idea. You’re brilliant, Cal.” Sighing, she closed her eyes. “I have a lot to digest after today’s conversation.”
“Speaking of digesting, can you hand me one of those chocolate chip cookies your mom bagged up for us?”
For whatever reason, that struck Theresa as funny, and she laughed as she fished the plastic baggie out of her purse. “Wow. You know what just occurred to me?” she said, handing him a cookie and taking one for herself.
“What?” he asked, his mouth full.
“This evening, I’ll share these cookies with my boys … their first ever made by their grandmother. They have a grandmother on my side of the family. I have my mother back. It’s all pretty amazing.”
“I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks. Me too. I’m glad you took a few pictures to commemorate the day. I was too emotional to think of that on my own.”
Once they’d boarded the jet and were ready for takeoff, exhaustion overwhelmed Theresa. She nodded off, waking a few moments later to find herself snuggled against Caleb. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay. Go ahead and sleep, Theresa,” he whispered. He lifted the armrest between them and drew her close.
He smelled so good, and being held by him felt so damned good. For the moment, she was exactly where she wanted to be. Letting loose a long sigh, she relaxed against Caleb and fell asleep.
