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“I did, and I even bought a copy to keep for reference. Reading that book helped me a lot when I told Caleb I wanted to see where our mutual attraction might lead.” She couldn’t contain her grin. “We’re giving being a couple a try. Neither of us are sure how to go about things with my two boys though. Do you have any suggestions?”
“From what you’ve told me, Caleb and your children have already established a good relationship,” Jenna pointed out.
“They have, yes.”
“It’s good that the two of you began as friends. Your children have been able to get to know him gradually. There are a few basic guidelines to keep in mind as you move forward.”
“Okay, what are they?” she asked.
“Always be honest with your children. Don’t make comparisons between Caleb and their father.” She held up a finger for each point. “Put your children’s well-being and needs first, and don’t force a new relationship on them.”
Theresa nodded. “A lot of that is out of the way already. Charlie and Jeremy have known Caleb since I began my singing career, and I’ve always been honest with them in an age- appropriate way. Their well-being is my top priority and always has been.”
“You’re off to a good start then, Theresa. It’s also important that you schedule alone time with your sons.”
Theresa snorted. “I have a bodyguard and an au pair who are always around. I hardly have time to myself much less time alone with Jeremy and Charlie.” She had arranged for a day without either Elli or John being there the Sunday after she’d reunited with her mother. She could arrange more days like that.
“The important point here is that your routine with your children shouldn’t suddenly change in a drastic way now that you and Caleb are becoming more intimate.”
“The change has been … gradual.” With Caleb, anyway. The way her ex-husband’s behavior had changed so abruptly and the breakup of their family was more worrisome. “We’ll soon be on tour together, and … hmm.” Theresa frowned. “I hadn’t thought about this, but my relationship with Caleb is going to be a big change for my band as well.”
“I imagine your band members may have already intuited there’s something going on between the two of you. They’re adults; you needn’t worry so much about how they’ll react.” Dr. Grayson shifted in her chair. “Are you prepared for the attention the two of you will receive on social media?”
“Will receive?” She snorted again and waved a hand in the air. “That stuff started after our first dog walk on the beach. I’m not on social media anymore. An assistant in my publicist’s office manages all that now, and I also avoid the tabloids.”
Jenna smiled. “Sounds like a good way to handle the situation. Have you heard anything from your ex recently? He’s likely to have seen an article or two about you and Caleb.”
“I haven’t heard a thing. Even thinking about him …” She bit her lip. “My stomach clenches and I dread the thought of seeing or having to talk to David. Everything that happened leading up to his being arrested was extremely humiliating. I felt so degraded by all the crap he did.”
“Is it possible you’re taking on the blame for someone else’s choices?” Jenna asked. “As far as I’m aware, your behaviors never changed throughout the breakup, which is commendable.”
“Is that part of being codependent, do you mean?” she asked.
“What do you think?”
She’d put on weight due to stress eating. She’d suffered with anxiety, depression, and all the crap from her past rising to the surface, but none of that qualified as codependence. She decided not to bring any of that up since those were the issues that had led her to Dr. Grayson in the first place.
“Maybe. Probably. What happened with David made me feel like a failure and like the whole situation was somehow my fault. I’ve wondered more than once if David sensed I was never truly in love with him, and that was why he acted out the way he did.”
“The rational thing to do if he did harbor those doubts would’ve been to talk to you about how he felt. Regardless, we all make choices, Theresa. We alone are responsible for our actions, and none of us have any control over what others choose to do or what they think.”
The rest of the session they discussed Theresa’s misplaced feelings of failure and guilt. And another burden lifted from her shoulders. David owned responsibility for the choices he’d made, not her. She’d remained faithful, and she’d continued to take care of her family the same way she always had.
Self-blame, a hard habit to kick. Her entire childhood she’d accepted blame for things entirely out of her control—issues that would be out of any young child’s control. Learning a new way of thinking would take time and effort, but she was more than willing to do the work.
“Thank you, Dr. Grayson.” Their session came to an end, and Theresa rose from the comfy leather chair. “Are there any books about divorced parents and dating on those shelves?”
“As a matter of fact, there are several.” Jenna went to the shelves and pulled out two books. “Here you go. Keep them as long as you want, and feel free to share them with Caleb.”
“Oh.” Her eyes widened. “It never would’ve occurred to me to share these with Caleb, but it makes sense. We have an equal stake in this.” She tucked the books into her oversized handbag. “Wow, I feel like I’m finally growing up.”
“I’m glad for you, and you need to give yourself a pat on the back. You’ve made so much progress these past few months, Theresa. Perhaps it’s time we cut back to two sessions per month. How would you feel about that?”
Was she ready to cut back? “I’d like to think about that before I decide.”
“All right. I’ll see you next week then.” Jenna picked up her tablet and walked with Theresa to the door.
Theresa headed for the reception area where her bodyguard waited. Her phone began to vibrate in her purse, and she fished it out to check caller ID. If the call could wait, she’d let it go to messaging. “Hmm.” Her lawyer. Theresa hit accept and joined John where he stood. “Hi, Sonya. What’s up?”
